How I was called to the Mission Field is really How I Heard God Speak to me and I listened.
I grew up in a Christian home. When I was younger I was convinced I was born a born-again Christian. I had been in church since the womb! 😀 I was saved very young, around 7 or 8 and and insisted on being baptized soon after. I had felt the presence of the Lord on me and I never really doubted my salvation. In a way it made me arrogant. I went through middle school and high school on high’s and low’s. I got involved in a church and I gave my all. I think I spent more time there then home and we lived 30min away!! I would hitch rides from other members and I would volunteer for everything under the sun. I loved every second of it. I had this calling to help in every way possible. A great desire in me to surround myself with other people who wanted God and would run after it. The desire I had to do missions grew in me daily. I wanted to travel and help those in need. To show them the light. Through this I fought for my dad. I’d wake up early and pray and I even walked around our house proclaiming the place for God and his works. But only God can Save. After years passed, I gave up. I became angry and through a series of event I ended up in Houston in 2008.
I was lived with my grandparents, then my aunt, and back again with my grandparents. It was lonely and hard and God was trying to teach me to rely on him. I didn’t get. My parents moved to Houston and I moved in with them. I had been working at job where I found this wonderful man. We started getting to know one another, started dating, and then almost a year later we were engaged. I was head over heels. Completely loved him. But through all this I knew I hadn’t been putting God first. Something in me was itching. I was anxious. Even while I was making wedding plans and buying a dress I felt this emptiness in me. I had a great job and a great fiance and it wasn’t enough. I didn’t feel the presence of God. I felt wretched. I was on the internet one day looking up some lyrics to a song and I found a link to the World Race. I read 11 countries, 11 months, God and Missions and I instantly heard God say “This is what you are supposed to do.” For the past two, three years I had convinced myself the desire I had in high school I had made up myself. It wasn’t God, it was my desire. In seconds I felt my heart start racing, I honestly thought I was going to have a panic attack. I got up told my mom I was breaking the engagement all while crying.
Since I made the decision to listen to God, I have felt such peace. I know this is what I am supposed to do. To be totally honest. I don’t have that passion and drive that I held when I was younger for missions. But what I do have is a desperate need for God and I will not stop running after him!
