Hi Everybody!
This will be my last blog on the world race website…well maybe. Who knows if in the future I will do more work with AIM. I’ll keep you posted on any of those developments!!
As of September 2011, I am living in Northern Ireland and I will be here for the next 10 months. Technically speaking this internship is not affiliated with AIM even though this was our ministry contact while we were on the Race. If you want to follow the continuation of my journey you may at my new blog http://stumblingandstillfollowing.blogspot.com/
I have truly enjoyed the past year and something months. I feel like I was challenged and encouraged the most, that the most growth I’ve had was when I gave up all that had. I hope this next season shows the fruits of that and that God continues to refine me. I want this next year to be all about loving and serving. To truly understand what it means to be selfless, its a lot harder than it seems.
I don’t remember if I ever wrote about this, but in Cambodia God showed me how skewed my perception was. I had viewed myself for so long as this quiet, unseen person. I defined myself as introverted and that I didn’t like interactions with people especially large crowds. Then all of a sudden God was like, that’s not who you are, I didn’t make you that way. Woah, all of a sudden the box that was Lili was just crushed. What do you mean you didn’t make me to be quiet and a loner?? I like coffee shops and sitting by myself. I like intimate gatherings where I don’t have to guide conversation and when people don’t have to look at me. Then if my box wasn’t crushed enough, I’m just overwhelmed with the questions that I should have asked a long time ago. Why would God make me so that I wouldn’t want to speak and encourage his people? Why would he make me into a person that cringes at the thought of approaching a new person when I have a word for them?
He didn’t.
I had lived in that lie for so long, so so long. But I am free because my Jesus came to set the captives free. He broke the bonds of slavery!! I may have to fight this flesh nature (the urge to be who I once was) everyday, but the Lord Almighty gives me strength. Although I get frustrated that God continues to show me where I have shackles (I wish that their weren’t so many) I live with the certainty that he is with me now and forever. And this is why I can’t be selfish. I have to speak and in Ireland thats my job!
