Our ministry in Kenya has been different than the past three months. In the afternoon we travel to local secondary schools (high school age) and speak. Now up until Kenya, when the team might have to speak somebody volunteers or has something prepared. To date I’ve only had to speak once, to give a mini testimony in Romania. I don’t like to speak in front of groups. I avoid it. Feedback with my team of seven is an ordeal for me. Then why on earth am I speaking to group of 100+ students and confidently?!?!?
God. The only possible answer. He leads me to speak. What’s funny is that when we were first started ministry in Kenya, God led me to this verse Mark 13:10-11:
And when they bring you to trial and deliver you over, do not be anxious beforehand
I thought “how cool, see Lili don’t worry about what you are going to say. ” I was anxious with the possibility of speaking in front of a large crowd. Yet, God led me to speak about my life. I would tell the crowd how God pursued me, how is loving and faithful. It became a bit easy after the first few times. I still freak out every time and sweat like a pig, but it was almost comfortable.
Then Tyler, Anna and I arrive at a school and I have nothing. I don’t feel a tug to talk about my testimony. I don’t feel a tug to speak about anything at all. When I look to see where we are going to speak, I notice the kids outside. I was dreading it. I had a white skirt on and it was going to rain. I didn’t want to be outside. I was thinking of my own comfort. When we walk over there, they lead us inside the room. It was packed, hardly any room. They kids had overflowed outside the room and into the adjacent room. What?! There are so many kids and we have nothing to say.
I instantly felt unworthy. Who am I to speak? I don’t want to BS my way through this. I know there were hungry hearts in this crowd.
“God, what am I going to do? I need you. I can’t do this. I need a verse-something, anything!”
Then I heard “Romans, Romans 8”. I read through it and all I knew was that God loved these kids. He is there father and I knew I had to speak about Romans 8:15-16 about the spirit of adoption-sonship. “Ephesians” I don’t know where in Ephesians so I read Ephesians 1. Ephesians 1:4-7 spoke of God knowing us before creation, of how he adopted us through Jesus. Now I have never had God tell where to go in the bible. I was a bit skeptical. Maybe I heard it before and subconsciously I provided the verses. But then Anna gets up to speak, she talks about God’s love and how he knew the kids since before the womb and how he wants them to come to him and call him father. She references Romans and Ephesians and all I can think is “Shut-Up!!” as I dramatically point out my verses to Tyler.
A-freaking-MAZING!!!
God provided the words just like his word said he would.
