My hand curled around the handle of the machete as I gripped it experimentally, trying to figure out why my first swing had resulted in only a single blade of grass being cut down. I looked sideways at my friend from the house I was working in to see her take out clump after clump of tall grass with each swing. Looking up at me with a grin, she explained that she had been doing this since she was a little girl and not to be discouraged because this was my first time. Again she showed me how to hold the machete and told me that it was all about angle and hitting at the purple base of the grass (it is softer and easier to cut there) Every few minutes, one of the little boys in my house would wander over and ask me what I was doing, their brows furrowed in confusion and amusement. Apparently I was pretty fun to watch.
As I continued to take out a few blades of grass at a time, wondering if I was actually being helpful at all, the Lord looked past my poor machete skills to the heart of the matter and a beautiful conversation began to unfold between “Mara” (We have been asked not to use the kids real names in order to respect their privacy) and I. One of the first things she told me was that she was not a Christian. She explained to me that she had a heart of stone and it was better that way. With a heart of stone, people cannot hurt you and you don’t have to feel bad when you just can’t bring yourself to forgive the people around you or you hurt them. I asked her if she wasn’t a Christian, than what did she believe in? She told me that she was still trying to figure that out.
As blades of grass flew above my head and cut my arms, I talked about pain and about how we as humans go through seasons of pain and even numbness, but that it doesn’t ever take away from the goodness of God. What is crazy is that we were able to convey some pretty deep things to one another using Spanglish. Honestly what was far more impactful than my words or her vulnerability was the fact that I was willing to learn how to use a machete so that I could help her and she was willing to teach me.
While words hold weight, actions carry a greater weight that speak louder than the words. Imagine if I had sat and watched Mara work, telling her that God is good, He loves her and that having a soft heart is worth the pain. It would have just been meaningless words falling around her ears. Instead, in a flash of His love and providence, God gave me the eyes to see the girl cutting the grass at the side of the house by herself and to think that maybe it was one of those days where a little help would mean a long way. The willingness to look silly, the sweat, the possibility that I might not know how to say something in Spanish, the extra bugbites and cuts incurred all carried the weight of action, the weight of love.
I am not sharing this to brag about myself. Let’s be real, I have always selfishly wanted to know how to use a machete and I needed a break from the younger kids. I am sharing this because this was a Gospel moment, trust was built when I kept working with her, talking with her despite the fact that she let me know up front that she was not and did not want to be a Christian. We can all have these moments! What if we stopped telling people that Jesus loved them and just loved them? What if, instead of telling someone that they should turn to Jesus and repent, I allowed them to watch me fail and come before the Lord in my failure? It is vulnerable and hard, but it is the real thing! These moments are when Heaven touches earth because there is no way I could do this by myself. It is clearly the love of God and His Spirit at work in me that allow for this kind of moment.
Since our first conversation, Mara and I spoke several more times. She shared many parts of her story with me and I am overwhelmed by the bravery and faithfulness, yes faithfulness, that she walks in. She is creative, stubborn in the best of ways and I believe that her testimony and her relationship with God are going to bring the Kingdom in a unique and beautiful way wherever she goes! Please be praying that her heart will be softened to the romancing of her King and that she will be filled with deep joy at the story that He has written out for her.
If you would be interested in supporting Mara and other children like her as they are loved on and nurtured in the Christian home provided by Casa de Esparanza, you can become a sponsor and donate just $25 dollars a month at www.boliviamissionsfoundation.org/needs#fi
