After a long, 24 hour travel day, my squad and I made it here to Granada, Nicaragua for debrief. This four day session happens every few months and it is a time where our entire squad of thirty is together and our squad leaders, mentor and coaches are here as well. While it is a time to rest and reflect on what God has been doing, it is also a time for one on ones with leaders, pushing into the hard things that God is calling out in us and calling us up to. The following blog is short little updates about different aspects of the race that have been going on:
Sharing Jesus with People: This takes so many shapes and sizes! I thought I knew this, but am daily reminded that sharing Jesus isn’t about my agenda or preconceived notions about the “best” way to do it. It is simple: You love people, listen to the Holy Spirit and speak the truth. One of my favorite instances of this occurred my last day in Costa Rica as I was typing up my last blog at a coffee shop. The man at the table behind me sneezed and my “Bless you!” led us through a short conversation that ended with him inviting me over to talk about spirituality. He is an author, artist and essentially a “new age” like individual. As he shared his thought and I shared mine, there were so many moments where I wanted to cut him off and say, “You’re wrong!” but the Lord just kept laying it on my heart to, “just speak the truth in love.” We spoke for almost an hour and since I listened to him, he listened to me, giving me the opportunity to share the Gospel through my testimony, talk about sin and grace and let him know through my words and actions that he is worth loving and listening to. I was so overwhelmed by how God led me through a conversation that at first seemed overwhelming and over my head!
What God is doing in my own heart: this is an excerpt from my journal, “Aren’t all of our lives characterized by grace? But right now, I am seeing my life as a series of falls from the back of my horse. This last one knocked the very breath out of me and the enemy tried everything to keep me there looking up at the sky dazed, and laying in my hurt. In order to fall, you have to get back in the saddle. Now the Lord has revealed to me His on a whole new level as I consider this picture. My life is not a series of falls, but rather a life spent getting back in the saddle. This brings so much more glory to the Lord! It is only His grace that peeled me from the ground and gave me a knee back into the saddle. So, I will push hard, take greater risks and harder falls so that He will be glorified.”
What is God doing with the relationships in my life: My teammates and I are learning to humble ourselves to communicate with one another in a loving and effective way. A huge part of this is learning to cherish feelers and thinkers, introverts and extroverts and so on. What is wonderful about this HARD process, is that as God’s creations we are far more complex than these antonyms. Good relationships and communications take time. We as a team have been praying into this and God has been answering in such a sweet way. We fail, but we learn from our failures. The women on my team are dauntless, beautiful, intelligent, grace filled women and we have begun to love one another with a fierce love. This love that keeps loving despite hurtful words or frustrating communication could only come from Jesus!
MUSIC!!!! This has been a huge aspect of the race. Anywhere I go with my guitar, I make friends. Children come up to strum the strings and chat, people stop to listen and it has been used by everyone on the squad to help lead worship time and again. Last night some friends and I went out into the streets of Grenada with longboards (like a skateboard), my guitar and ukulele. After walking around and chatting with a few different people, including a young boy who strummed my guitar while I fingered the chords (this happens all the time! I love seeing the look on their faces as the notes change and in whatever chords I am playing and they are strumming, they hear a familiar song and start to sing it to meJ, we went to the main plaza and worshipped under the night sky. I am looking forward to more of this!
I laughed when: I went longboarding through the city with two of my friends and successfully made it down a hill
I cried when: I realized that God made me a feeler and so I need to let myself feel. It was messy:)
I am reading: Eragon. I have been needing a fun story and it has been wonderful to devour a good book again.
I felt so much joy: when we had baptisms at lake Nicaragua and watched the sunrise. The more we travel, the more I am amazed at the artistry and creativity of God.
I am struggling with: discipline! I get distracted by the people around me and my desire for fun too much. God has so much for me in the alone time that we get to spend with one another and in the things that He is calling me to practice discipline in. Please pray that my heart will be made soft with surrender and excitement about pressing in to the things God has called me up to.
Thanks for reading this lengthy blog! We head to our mission sight tomorrow morning.
