Right now eighties tunes are blasting from the tv of the hostel that my team and I are staying in during our stay in Puerto Varas. Today and tommorow are days of rest and adventure before we finish up our final week of our stay here in Chile. The eighties tunes were preceded by the morning news which focused entirely on the memorial service held for Patricio Alguin Azocar (1918-2016) a former president of Chile. One of these clips showed a recent interview of him in which Senor Azocar was shown a video of his younger self passionately speaking to a massive crowd of Chilenos. As this elderly man watched himself, tears began to form in his eyes and as I watched him, sitting by the warm hostel fire, I began crying. In his tears, I could feel the questions that he was asking himself, “Did I live my life to the fullest? Did I lead as well as I could, sacrificing as much as I could? Did I serve my people well?” I ask myself those questions. It’s month four of this race and I want to live each day giving Jesus my everything, but I don’t want to just have those grand convictions, I want to walk them out, to act on them. This is where it gets difficult. I can receive a revelation of something in a moment, but there are some things that will take my entire life to walk out.
One of these things came to my attention in the form of feedback from my team last night. What is feedback? It is the opportunity to call a friend to higher, to help them as they walk out the convictions and revelations that God is giving to them. It is a HUGE purpose of community. Jesus did this on a regular basis with His disciples, with the people around Him and we see it threaded throughout Paul’s letters to the churches. Sometimes it is harsh, such as when Paul says, “You foolish Galatians! Who has bewitched you?”(Galatians 3:1) and then goes on to chastise them for losing faith in the Gospel that was first given to them. Other times it is very practical such as first and second Corinthians when Paul informs the church in Corinth on things such as food sacrificed to idols, good order in worship and the Lord’s Supper. Finally, there is feedback in the form of tender encouragement, acknowledging the growth and pursuit of righteousness in a friend. All three are necessary, but the first and even the second can be difficult for me to give and to receive. Last night my teammates told me that I needed to come out and speak what was on my mind, speaking the truth boldly even if it meant that someone might be hurt or upset by the initial cut of conviction or angry because they disagreed with what I was saying. Along with that they pointed out that I was walking in fear of offending people and with a heart that is easily offended. Both of these things have flitted in and out on the peripheries of my conscious over the past several years, but last night I spoke things that I had kept bottled up inside for the past few weeks and there was such a relief and lightness afterwards. It was like it really hit me for the first time that often the best way to say things is directly, allowing the Lord to walk the person through the words of truth that He has laid on my mind. It is loving to speak the hard things to friends.
This is definitely one of those learning processes, but God, in His wisdom and infinite love for me, put me in a group with women who are gifted with speaking bluntly and receive being spoken too bluntly well. I am excited to explore this, to learn how to trust that speaking the truth doesn’t mean that I am going to lose speaking with grace. I don’t have to have one or the other and can trust that God is only maturing me and growing me through this. My gifts have always been gentleness and nurturing and I think that I have feared losing these things if I practiced (and often fail) at speaking the truth with directness, but God is so much bigger than that. He can grow all of these things in me. He is not limited by our personalities and wants to give us many good gifts.
The purpose of this blog is not for me to just share a personal part of my spiritual journey, but to encourage whoever is reading to receive and give the truth. If we cannot walk in this as a body of believers, we will live with the bitterness of unspoken words and lose the opportunity to mature in our walk with Christ. Let those who are gifted in speaking the truth share with those who excel in speaking with grace and vice versa. Then we will become more like Jesus, speaking with both grace and truth.
Life Updates:
I have really enjoyed…experiencing all the wildlife surrounding the island of Chiloe. On our way to one of the smaller outlying islands of Chiloe (the main island if Chile), our little motor boat was greeted by five or six porpoises leaping besides us. They were so beautiful!
I have missed…facetiming with my family. I am fasting that this month and it is really difficult!
I was filled with joy when…we were able to have church on a tiny outlying island with some brothers and sisters who are faithfully serving the Lord even when it is lonely and they receive very few visitors. When we prayed and worship it was with such incredible, simple thanksgiving and free tears of joy at the goodness and provision of God.
I am listening to…Nat King Cole, Frank Sinatra and other classics. Shout out to my roomies and our classy Sunday afternoon music?
