Its crazy to think that the last time I wrote a blog post was in January, and here I am sitting in my new home in Guatemala. Ive sat down and wrote several blogs since January, but I never posted them. All because I believed the lie of “This isn’t good enough.”
Honestly its hard writing blogs, you’re putting your thoughts and experiences out there for anyone to read. This sense of unknown judgement just seems to be hovering over me. So I would shake my head, press delete, close the tab and go on to something else.
Really when I start to think of it that feeling of not being good enough has just been the norm for me. School, sports, work, and just everyday life. I always felt like I had to work harder and be better. Worthy was not a word in my vocabulary, but God came and spoke the truth of worthiness to me.
I found my worth in the river of his love.
I haven’t blogged about my training camp experience, but this is the first time I had a true sense of being worthy. One night at worship we were singing “I See Heaven” and one of the lines is “I give you honor worthy Jesus.” As I was singing this I just felt God saying “You’re worthy of my love and worthy to be my child.” I really don’t even know how to describe the feeling of that moment or even the peace I was given. But to truly know that just being me is good enough is such a burden lifted off of my shoulders. The lies I has believed for so many years just seemed to disappear. I truly saw my worth and identity in Christ and nothing else. Believing that I am worthy gives such a freedom.
I can finally take the “This isn’t good enough” to “I am enough”
-Libby
Also I am $2,056 away from being fully funded. If you would like to donate to my gap year, you can click the “support me” tab and it takes you to my donation page!! Thanks for all the support, it means more than yall know!
