This morning I worked at the homeless shelter here in town, I served breakfast.
Don't think I'm bragging, I didn't want to do it. The roads iced over today and my dad works at my office on Fridays so I rode with him in the Xterra, and he volunteers serving breakfast at the shelter every Friday morning. I had to do the same thing last Friday because of a snow storm so I was not at all thrilled about having to get up super early for the second Friday in a row. I know, I know how horrible right? I know it was childish, but that was my attitude.
So on the way over I'm praying for God to change my attitude because I knew it wasn't right, praying that one of the people would bless me in some way or something would happen to change my attitude
It didn't.
Background Info: Knoxville has a great homeless program. KARM (Knox Area Rescue Ministries) feeds around 300 people every meal, 3 meals a day, and has programs for families and men and women to help get them back on their feet. Both of my amazing parents are super involved with KARM.
So we're serving up breakfast to the people, they each get 2 biscuits, a sausage round and gravy. Hot coffee to drink. Sometimes there is a scoop of scrambled eggs as well, but not today. As we are serving a woman comes through the line and says, "That's not the good homemade gravy, where is the good gravy?! I'm not eating that, I'll wait!"
I was enraged. I woke up early to serve you breakfast, which you are getting for FREE, and you have the nerve to tell me you aren't going to eat it? That it's not good enough for you? My mind went to the Race, as it often does, and I imagined my team serving at a homeless shelter in Africa, where children with swollen bellies accept our food with the purest gratitude because that may be all they eat for the day. I was mad for the African babies. I was mad for myself. I was mad at God. He was supposed to change my attitude, this was making it much worse.
That's when God showed up. I could almost feel him putting biscuits on the trays with me. "Put yourself in her shoes" He said. "Let the sinless cast the first stone".
So I did. I imagined me going through the food line. What I discovered was the exact same attitude. I would get the biscuits. Scrambled eggs? I have a real problem with slimy textures… I'd have to say pass on those. I don't eat sausage. Ever. It's gross, pass. Gravy? It's like liquid sausage with cream. Never ever. Pass. Black coffee? You mean without Starbucks flavors and sweeteners and whipped cream and syrups? I'll pass thanks. I was just like her. I have never known hunger so great that I would simply eat what was put before me and be thankful. I may not be as vocal with my disgust, but the disgust was there.
As I prepare for the World Race I am trying to give everything to God. I told Him He could have my future. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I get back. I told Him He could have my stuff. It's just stuff. I told Him He could have anything and today He told me something He wanted: my gratitude.
