Seasons of a World Racer

SPRING!!!!! It’s coming… but not soon enough.  I love the seasons.  God knew that continual change in my circumstance would play into His favor when He made me.  He knew that I would get bored looking at a tree that had golden leaves all year, so He strips them down for me, then brings them to life again after a few months.  He knew that warm weather (although it’s my favorite) would soon need to cool so that a day full of sunshine would be better savored when it took the chill out of my bones.  He knows me.  He uses the seasons to show me this.

 

Even though I’ve only been a Racer for three months and have several months before I leave in July, I’ve experienced seasons of God moving in the entire faithful process of saying Yes Lord.  Here are a few of them…

 

I’ve had the awesome pleasure of meeting two of my fellow teammates via email… a HUGE shout out goes to Al and Slick Willy

Until now, I have not had very much communication with any one going on the Race.  I have been starved for conversation over frustrations, fears, joys, praising God for how He has provided, family stresses the Race has put on us, relationships, mourning leaving our lives, etc… This community will be my life for a year.  These people will see me for all that I am.  Transparent.  In need of Grace. Dirty. Broken.  PRAISE GOD for how His people make up His body.  The limited conversation I’ve had so far has been nothing less than a Godsend. It has been my season of renewal, renewing my fervor and passion to help me press on.  Thank you God for your community, may it serve you well and echo love you sent to die so that we may live.

 

 

It’s an understatement to say that this is difficult to express.   As time passes, my heart is slowly transitioning into a more realistic picture of how much of me is slowly falling to the wayside.  I’ve heard several references to Racers mourning in blogs and conversations.  So far, I’ve only lightly tasted a few of these tears, some more bitter or sweeter than others.  I’ve shed tears over the death of dreams.  Dreams of a marraige and love that I’ve longed for more passionately than my desire for Christ. That dream claimed years of my life.  God has replaced this with a greater vision of Love. I’ve shed tears over social injustice that never once touched my soul before this adventure.  Haitians dead and sickly, prostitutes desperate and diseased, babies with little hope, children without mothers and fathers… God has breathed life into these faces and now I can hear their cries.  I’ve learned to cry with my entire soul for the absence of the Gospel.  I’ve learned how share tears with my family and community of joy in my calling and sadness in my leaving. This season is my cold, rainy season.  It waters the ground in preperation for growth and good fruit. Thank you God for sending Your Son so that the salt of my tears in Heaven do not stand alone.  

 

 

 Raising funds for this trip has shed light on a nasty habit.  Our culture has woven pride into the fabrics of its people, whispering lies that asking our brothers for help is an imposition to the community.  Our culture says to pull yourself up by your own boot straps… figure it out yourself… do more to receive more. Matthew 7:7-11 reverses this thinking and showed me that not only am I hiding my pride in a false modesty by not asking, I’m straight up being disobedient to the command of Christ.  How could I know thankfulness until I began asking my God and my brothers for provision! This season has revolutionized my ideas of humility, how to both give and receive humbly.  This is my season of fall.  Falling on my face to the most Soveriegn and Most High God that cares for me even more than the handsomely clothed lillies of the field and the full bellied birdies in their cozy nests!  Thank you Lord, for all the dangers you saved me from that I never knew existed, for all the needs you met I did not recognize as essential, and for your intimate love you pour out so abundantly.

 

Prepare yourself for this metaphor… 

Imagine a squirrel.  Quirky… busy about life… playful… a little spastic. Now imagine that squirrel finding it’s way into a bag full of columbian coffee beans and having it’s fill.  The aftermath is a reflection into my spirit now that God’s ultimate love is roaring into the depths of who I am!!!  God calls us to live life to the fullest by dying to ourselves and taking up His cross so He may have Lordship.  His joy has NOT come in serving Him in the places He’s already found… it’s the dark places.  It’s the broken students in my gym, it’s my darkest corners of sin that I continue to repress, it’s the alley’s of Ninevah Jonah fled from,  it’s the shattered generations resulted from genocide… this ultimate beauty of joy comes from Christs’ victory in the dark places! The Race has ushered me into seasons of joy while Christ and I explore the depths of my soul’s secrets.  It’s a painful day, but in every uncovered file, God’s love remains the same… and joy comes in the morning.  This is my season of warmness and light, when God’s brightness overcomes any hint of shadow in my life and the lives of others.  God, thank you for being the Light of the world… thank you for illuminating the shadows in my life, exposing all darkness by your truth.  You are true love.