This started as a letter to some AMAZING FRIENDS of mine serving Christ in the states. (shout out to VanGO ministries (i.e. Stacie and Jenna) and your states tour! Go get some Jesus, and give some while you’re at it!) It transformed into a blog as God revealed a few things in my words. The beginning is what I’ll be doing this month, the end begins one of MANY confessions that I will no doubt blog in the near future. MOTHERS, AUNTS, GRANDMAS, SISTERS, AND ALL YOU OTHER LADIES…
So, I’m working at a toddler house (orphanage). It’s like a normal
house, really. Has a nice kitchen, little court yard, automatic gate
that keeps Satan out. There’s a big boy room with two bunk beds and a
baby room where the other 5 younger kids sleep. Then there’s my baby
small room that barely fits a bed (it’s like Harry Potter’s room under
the stairs minus the stairs, it’s my own personal cubby hole!) and the big room where the Team Abundant Life sleeps. It’s stacked with 6 bunk beds, and at
some point, I am determined to make signs to hang on the foot of each
one with one of the 7 dwarfs names on it. I’m deeming myself as Grumpy, seeing that my morning skills have lacked the proper dialogue (I may or may not still be working on my feedback skills).
I’m working the night shift. If I could go out and find some really
great janitor working overalls… I totally would. The name patch would
say Auntie Lia in a fancy cursive script. It would keep me from smelling
like stale tee tee and I’m sure that the blurp spots from boiling
porridge wouldn’t be near as offensive to others. Instead, I’m sporting
the look (and smell) on one of my favorite shirts that has survived the
entire race, thus far. At this rate… the t-shirts future is looking dim.
Night shift is legit. I start at 6pm, bathe the little ones all at
one time in a little pastel colored tub. They play more than they bathe,
but it’s SUPER cute because I can’t seem to NOT put soap suds in there.
This makes all my personal baby pictures make sense. Little babies and bubbles
together make you automatically say, “Awwwwwww!”. They have their night
snack, then I bathe the 3 bigger boys while the other little ones watch
the telly. After they’re all clean, the little’s go to bed at 7 and the
bigger boys 30 minutes later. During their awake hours, I’m juggling
changing diapers, putting on night clothes, sweeping and mopping the
floor and table area (we have an ant problem), and doing the dishes used
for snacks. One of the little ones gets a breathing treatment before
snooze time, but after that, I’m home free till about 5 the next
morning.
Morning is a little more fun, as I found last night. I accidentally
put the wrong nappies on 4 of the little ones. I woke up to find a soggy
mess in 3 of their beds. Thankfully, the ones that decided to totally
defile their nappies were wearing the better diaper. THANK YOU LORD. As
always, God gives me mercy in my folly. Besides having to wash their
sheets, it wasn’t too bad of a mistake for myself. The part that breaks
my heart is the babies having to sleep in their tinkle all night. I
won’t be doing THAT again. Anyways, as I wake up, I start cooking their
breakfast so it will be ready and dished up after the kids get up and
get changed. They go straight to breakfast, then to the living area to
either watch a worship video (the best way to start the day) or Toy
Story 3 (an amiable alternative). I finish up by making beds, washing
linens, hanging laundry, cleaning the kitchen, and finally… handing
off day duty to the two Aunties on shift.
Afterwards, the real work begins. I took night-shift to free the day
time up for squad leading necessities. Before, when I tried to juggle
being on the baby rotation for day shift and squad leading, it was
torture for everyone. I had to frequently leave to make internet stops
for emails and buying minutes to get phone calls going. God had other
plans for me though. One of the Aunties had to cover another’s shift
during the day, which in turn, left two weeks of night shift open. The
reason me and Team Abundant Life are here is to save the orphanage
money, among other things. They have to contract out their helpers if there are shifts open.
So, in classic God fashion, He put my logistical problem and the
orphanages money problem together to complete each others’ need so we could love Jesus efficiently.
Thanks God. You’re pretty much a genius.
There has been
worry about not getting enough rest, but do you know what I think about
that??? My grandparents have outworked me for 24 years… almost 10 of
those were in their 70’s. Our generation does not know the meaning of
work. If they think they do, it’s totally scarred by their high opinions
of themselves. (Not hating on us young guns… but we have a LOT to learn!). The past few months have given me a heavy dosage of
humility and a strong booster shot of “get over yourself”. I’m pumped.
For once in my life, I see that I MUST BE IN NEED FOR GOD TO PROVIDE FOR
ME! I say this within reason. No need to test the Lord… but,
situations that are beyond us call for super natural solutions. This
just may be one of them as far as energy is concerned.
THESE ARE MY CONFESSIONS… (I know you’re singing the song…)
I have continued to learn more and more about myself as I “auntie” these kids. It’s a never ending lesson. When I was a teacher in the states, I would love kids all day through discipline, encouragement, reprimand, advising… then as I would lay in bed, the Lord would surface all the lessons I gave to my students in myself. He became the teacher and coach for me as I was to my kids during the day. Needless to say, the next day I usually did some apologizing (to 5th graders!) or some bragging about how cool God is. Leading the squad has been no different.
These babies have spawned numerous lessons and parallels spoken from God’s mouth to my Spirit. I’ve been called out on my heart by God more than I’ve changed dirty nappies (that’s A LOT!). God hasn’t been easy with me, either. He’s really kept my heart in check with how I see others and what instigates me to love them.
I tend to
be innately emotional. It’s a blessing because my passion for my people explodes with it, but at times it has clouded my view of the reality of who others
really are at heart. Disappointment, frustration, worry, and other such
things are grown out of emotional reactions. Now, I’m moving into an
era where God is refining the way I process with my people. The key
word there was “with”. When you sit WITH someone in their junk, you’re
forced to smell it, making you just as uncomfortable…
Like me and the babies. Their crap bothers the heck out of me. I
HATE the smell of rancid kid poop. So, I have to make it my problem. I began to have to take it personally, or else I wouldn’t go through the pains of
cleaning them up. I can justify this too…. “I JUST changed them, and I
don’t want to waste that diaper. They can sit a little longer.” OR “let
me just go take care of these things, first.” OR “I’ll wait till one of
the other Aunties smell it so they’ll take care of it… Nobody knows if I
don’t say anything!”. Unfortunately, my own selfishness led me to serve them. I know… those thoughts are terrible. They’re
real, though. The worst part about thinking that way is that MY SELFISHNESS dictated if the baby was going to sit in their own worst nightmares (besides the
Boogie Man, of course). Praise God that He’s moved my heart into a deeper place. What started with selfishness has blossomed into a heart that see’s a babies’ disposition as my joy and gladness to serve. I can’t even stomach the woman I was at the beginning of this month… in a good way, of course.
This is the same as squad leading and living in ANY community. There are things that are
straight undesirable, and at times, I would rather wait them out or pass
them off to someone else. In the end, it results in a dirty, fussy baby
that was MUCH worse than before… and… its super hard to change a
fussy baby verses one that is happy. Amen or Oh Me, Mothers????
I look forward to two more precious weeks with these kids. Asia is on us fast, God is providing the last $11,000-ish dollars by YOUR HANDS of faithful giving, and I glanced at a calender and noticed there’s only 4 months left of this rollercoaster.
I don’t want it to end… and the best part is… it doesn’t have to.
LOVE LOVE
