how i was called to the mission field

for some reason, i used to always have this idea that if a person was a christian they should go on one mission trip in their life.  i viewed this as if it were some duty that one could just cross off a list of things to do in order to please God.  well, that mindset changed recently in a very radical way.

 

i mentioned in my about me section that i spent a month in ukraine while i attended oral roberts university.  even after i returned from that trip (as life-changing as it was), i thought i’d be done with missions for good. i could now cross “go on a mission trip” off my list.  after i graduated from college in december, i spent a lot of time at home doing nothing. i had applied to work on a cruise ship and was waiting to hear back about my assignment, and literally did nothing all day long.  so, i started using the time to talk to God. and i talked to God more than i ever had in my life, i think.  i remember one day i was sitting at my computer and for some reason i got this idea that i needed to go somewhere; not just somewhere for fun, but somewhere to do something. something greater than myself. so i randomly hopped on my church’s website to see if there was an upcoming short-term trip i could go on. it was there that i found a link for the world race.  immediately i became immersed in the website. i knew this was it. this was my calling. i immediately broke down in tears, overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. i thought to myself, “i can’t go away for a year! that’s insane! i’ll be too homesick! i can’t do it!” i told God all this, and he responded gently, saying “i know you can’t do it, but i can.” this was enough reassurance for me, and i knew in my heart that i had been called. i began to feel disgusted with myself and the way i live. the fact that i have everything i want and more. the fact that i don’t appreciate the blessings in my life. the fact that there are people everywhere in this world who have nothing, yet constantly wear a smile on their face. meanwhile, i complain if the tiniest detail of my day goes wrong. God literally wrecked me. He broke me, and i knew this had to be from Him. i also knew that just going on another month-long trip simply would not suffice. i had to go for longer; i had to get the full experience in order to be rid of my selfishness. 

 

i signed up for the world race the next day, and now i cannot describe the amount of excitement and anticipation that i feel about this trip.  i think about it all day everyday and i tell everyone i meet about it. i cannot wait to see what God is going to do during those 11 months, and the months prior. 

-Isaiah 6:8