as a gap year participant, i was told i had to write a blog telling my advisors, and my peers, why i am doing what i’m doing this fall. here it is:
why world race?
why not go straight into college?
why go away for 9 months?
why leave everyone and everything behind?
why world race?
i started my senior year of high school in a daze of stress and confusion and tears. i started my last year of high school walking the halls, not excited like everyone else, but downright terrified of what was to come. i didn’t know what i was going to do when the year ended. i didn’t know what i wanted to be, where i wanted to go to school, or how i was going to figure it out. i had been thinking about it over the summer, started going through ideas in my mind, but nothing really felt right. i didn’t know what i was good at or what i liked to do, so i didn’t know what career path to choose, and without a career path it’s kind of hard to pick a school that will meet the needs of said path, so i couldn’t do that. and everything was just a chaotic mess and i was breaking underneath the weight of it all.
i know it sounds kind of over dramatic and millions of people go through this stage in life but to me- at the time- it was the biggest obstacle i had ever faced, and i was nowhere near equipped to handle it.
anyway, backtrack a little bit to summer camp before senior year. there was a bible college representative there who stood up and kind of talked about the school. i remember him saying “if you don’t really know what you want to do yet, a good option is to take a gap year to figure it out. but instead of just working or sitting around, you could use this time to grow closer with God, while also figuring out what to do with the rest of your life.” this got me thinking.
before that week, not going to college right after high school had never been an option for me. i always knew i wanted, needed, to get a degree, to go to college, to be successful, to get a good job, to live a good life. but i left that week from summer camp kind of questioning that mindset. after a couple days or weeks i don’t really remember, i went on with working and the regular everyday summer schedule and kind of forgot about it and didn’t worry about it too much, until it was starting to get super close to the first day of school- and that’s when it all hit me. overwhelmed, i started talking to my friend who mentioned a program called ywam and i thought “hey, sounds interesting” and i kind of looked into it but it didn’t quite have the “yes!” factor i was looking for. so fast forward to the start of the school year- like i said, crying everyday, no idea what to do, blah blah blah. finally, my same friend who mentioned ywam mentioned that the mission trip she went on over the summer (where she stayed on a ywam base- therefore learned about ywam and told me) was with a program called adventures in missions and that they don’t only do short mission trips, but they have a 9 month program called the world race: gap year.
after learning about it, i immediately thought it sounded like something i wanted to do. i never really considered being a missionary before but here this was, right in front of me, and i decided to check it out just to see if it was for me. in class that day, i went to the website and i started looking through, figuring out what it was and learning more about it, and then i started reading some blog posts. one in particular brought me to tears, right in the middle of the classroom. as i was sitting there, tear stained, reading that post, i knew gap year was for me and that the bible college, ywam, the not knowing, all led me to this. so that’s kind of how i got here, but that’s not really what they asked for so i guess i’ll start that now.
why world race?
often times i ask myself why i am the way i am. why i love too easy or why i hurt too hard. but lately i’ve been accepting the fact that God just made me emotional. and my mentor helped me to realize why and why it is not a bad thing like i thought, but a good thing.
i hurt for people.
it may sound like something that isn’t pleasant, and often times it is not, i assure you, however i know now why it is necessary. my heart breaks for others broken hearts. my heart breaks when i see how people are treated. how broken our earth is. how in need of mending it is. it hurts to help. it wants to help. i am one small speck on this large surface of world and yet i feel the hurt by the billions. but i also feel the love.
i am going on gap year to have a small hand in healing the wounds inflicted on our brothers and sisters by our brothers and sisters. i am going to hold the hands of widows. to be a lap for orphans. and to be a shoulder for survivors. i am going to grasp the love in this world in my hands and pour it out over the heads of these people, so that i may soothe their suffering. so that i can show them just a little bit of the love our Father has to give.
why world race?
i am going on the race because i am called to it. yes, i am going for the kids. yes i am going for the victims who have survived the plagues of this world. yes i am going for all of these things. but mainly, i’m going because i have nowhere else to go.
in the simplest terms, i’m going because God told me to. and i’m not in the business of denying God-answered prayers because it’s a little scary or because i’m leaving everything i’ve ever known behind for a year of heartache and a year of uncertainty. i asked God guide me to my next step after high school and He did so why would i not do exactly what He has told me to do? (especially when it’s as amazing as this)
why world race?
in closing,
i’m going on the world race because at the end of the day, at the end of this short lived life, i want to be able to say that i did everything. i did absolutely everything that God had planned for me. i did absolutely everything that makes life worth living. i did absolutely everything to make this world a better place for the people who come after me. and i did absolutely everything to fulfill my calling and help others receive the greatest gift that is Christ Jesus. so that they could do absolutely everything as well.
thank you for reading,
thank you for praying,
thank you for giving,
many blessings and much love,
lexi <3
