Yep. I am about to write an entire blog about an orange. Feel free to scroll to the bottom and notice the stressed, inquisitive look on my face in the photo. Today has been our first full day in Thailand after arriving late last night, and it can most broadly be characterized by a small, freckled Lexi feeling lost and sinking underneath a thick fog of unfamiliarity.
Those who understand me know that I am one for rules, plans, & intentionality. I enjoy structure and safety, finding it easy to thrive within typical boundaries found in my American life. I have never traveled outside the United States, so the very idea of being dropped in a brand new place surrounded by strangers who don’t speak English and strange food for months at a time is actually terrifying. This being said, it’s natural for me to get caught up with worry about the uncertainty and the unknown of both the days ahead and my surroundings now.
What I need to remember:
Matthew 6:27-31
“Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers in the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If the is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying what shall we eat, drink, or wear?”
Matthew 6:33
“But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of it’s own.”
Today, I had a calm morning then began exploring the area around the place we’re staying. A few friends and I went by the grocery store to grab some simple things we needed, and I quickly began to experience the reality of culture shock. This continued and heightened in the remainder of the day as well. We went to eat and I eventually found myself back at the grocery store. Being unable to communicate easily, read menus, or fully grasp the currency here has left me overwhelmed. All of this mixed with some serious jet lag has created a really weird and hard ball of emotions.
We walked around the grocery store to find some easy meals for the next few days, and I felt myself disconnect from my surroundings as my eyes became glazed over in front of the fresh fruit. I could not make any decisions and I was unexplainably so very stressed. At some point, I had picked up an orange—a sort of expensive orange (I think… like I said, don’t understand the currency yet) I should add. I was walking around with my friends while they very productively were finding what they wanted and needed. A young man who worked there walked up to me and pointed at the orange. Honestly, I had forgotten I was still holding it. I smiled back at him and almost instinctively handed it over. I didn’t know what he was going to do with my orange, but I was so out of it that I just went along with it. I followed him and he weighed it and put it in a plastic bag with a sticker for when I checked out at the register. Upon him returning my orange, I had no energy or time to remember the Thai phrase for “thank you” that I had studied earlier. We simply exchanged a quick smile as he nodded and hurried away, leaving me standing there with my sleepy self, staring down at the orange I now had to purchase.
That entire interaction was truly only a few seconds, but it was enough to confuse me and make me try to assess what is happening. I don’t have to feel inadequate because I am not fully prepared to handle every situation with graceful perfection. No amount of studying could possibly prepare me for the hands-on experiences that await me in this culture. Also, it’s ok that I don’t know Thai. People are just people, and we can still share sweet, strange interactions without having any clue what the other is saying.
When we got back, I plopped myself on the gray couch we have in a common area. I talked to some squadmates about my frustrating encounters with money, communication, comfort, and, yes… the orange. I was stressed and sad as I sat with my legs out in front of me and the orange in my lap. I carried the orange around for a bit longer, suddenly upset about not knowing where I can keep it.
I know you’re probably expecting a cool ending where the orange is symbolic of something and it taught me a valuable truth about life, but here’s the bottom line of what I am trying to say:
Today, I struggled & I bought an orange.
That’s it folks. I hope you find some humor in this anti-climactic anecdote, or that you at least appreciate the honest update of my first day in Thailand.
Enjoy some pics the famous orange.
For those asking: launch was a wonderful time of learning and God sending peace in times of sadness. The travel days that brought me here were messy and did not have any showering or very much sleep. SO many long flights, weird-but-good airplane food, and speed-walking through airports.
Much love for all you wonderful people who have supported me and the help from home,
– LEXI 😉
