I can’t speak for all humans, perhaps just the difficult ones…
In my life, I have noticed that the greatest lessons have often come from the greatest losses. God knows my constant stubbornness, so I’m sure He has to go to greater measures to teach me. Regardless, loss is a huge part of how I learn.
In an earlier blog, I remember writing about how I was learning how to accept help—specifically in the form of fundraising. It was difficult to ask people for money, and to realize that I had to rely on others to fulfill God’s calling for me on this trip. My life has taken a major turn, and I have since learned greater depths of this very lesson.
Two weeks ago, I went on a run (healthy, productive…right?) and fell—seriously injuring my knee. With my face on the dirty pavement, I screamed as loud as I could for help. Shooting pains began to replace the shock of impact as I tried to get up, but quickly realized I was incapable. About thirty minutes later, I sat in our recliner, holding my mom’s hand and screaming through the worst pain I have ever endured. After many doctors visits and tests (on my eighteenth birthday I should add), it has been concluded that I fractured my tibial plateau, and I’m now on crutches, beginning my three month journey to recovery.
I never would have guessed that my birthday would be spent with so many tears and so much discomfort. I never would have expected just how much can change in how little time. In simply a matter of seconds, I lost my independence, strength, and stability. My entire body has been impacted by this injury, not just my left knee. The pain from the break caused swelling and soreness all the way down my calf and foot, even bruising along my shin. For many days, even small movements caused me to react with a wince or shriek. Also, walking on crutches is not easy, and I have to be careful to keep my balance. The pain and medicine has brought me lots of dizziness and nausea. Furthermore, my mental state is easily altered when I become frustrated or impatient about how long it takes to do things that used to take seconds, or how often I need help.
This reminds me much of our spiritual lives. Just like my knee affecting my entire body and mind, when one thing is hurt in our hearts, it can affect our entire relationship with the Lord. If you are harboring even the slightest bit of bitterness or laziness, it can wedge between you and the Father, and drive you away from your pursuit of Him. Think about it! One morning spent on social media during your usual quiet time can create a lasting pattern that will create distance for your entire spiritual walk! I am prayerful that we learn to notice, acknowledge, and work through our tiny faults and hurts because while they seem like merely cracks, they can cause pain throughout your whole life if untreated.
I have had to find a way to adapt to the many new adjustments in my life. Learning to accept help has become a difficult lesson for me lately. With the loss of the ability to do much alone, I have to depend on others for everything (stairs, carrying things, driving me, the list is endless)! Though it has been a painful and frustrating challenge, I value what the Lord has been teaching me through this experience.
My family has been extremely blessed by this situation, as it has prompted some amazing friends and relatives to reach out in kindness to us. I have been shown so much love, and even though it is difficult to learn to accept it, I have a huge group of people willing and wanting to help in any way that I need. Also, many of my teachers have granted me generous and ample amounts of understanding for my situation. God’s timing was perfect as well, and I expect to be healed and good to go still on the World Race Gap Year.
Thank you to all who have prayed for me, and the many of you who show me love daily. Thanks also for reading this (sorry about the length, but hey lots has happened). It is my hope & prayer that we can learn from any loss we might experience in life, and keep pressing forward.
-Lexi
