Hi guys! Welcome to my blog. I’m glad you are here:)
I’d like to start by saying that as I seek to create this space for my readers, be that loved ones, acquaintances, friends, or merely those who happened upon my blog, I am met with conflict within my own mind. I think it is scary for me to even think about portraying in words who I believe I am. Due to the reality check this process brings, the way it forces me to look back at the pain I’ve experienced, and urges me to delve into the growth I’ve undergone, there is no getting out of the examining of my identity and what that means to me. Essentially, by exposing to you who I believe Christ has created me to be and is walking with me towards becoming, I am letting my walls down. I am opposing my natural tendency to protect myself, I am pressing in to the worth that I have received from the love of the father. Thus, against my defensive nature, I am taking a leap and seeking to create a place not only within this” about me” section, but my blog, and my life in general, which becomes an overflow of realness and rawness. I am on a journey which involves the process of actively opening the door of my life for others to walk through, barriers of pride and protection aside, that we might grow together in a way which transforms our brokenness and leads us into places of compassion for ourselves, one another, and receiving humility and ability to view this world through the eyes of Jesus.
I hope that much of me will begin to be explained through my blog posts, as we walk together through my journeys in this upcoming year. However, I do feel that there are a few mentionable things about life which provide explanation for the things that make me , ME. First of all, I am very passionate about setting straight the gospel of grace. During my life, I have experienced a number of encounters with Christian circles, in which legalism ruled. To my dismay, I have even been apart of them, and so I have no judgement in my heart. But what I realized was that by judging, performing, regulating, forcing, rule-keeping, and striving, little cultures of never ending self glorification and “earning” ones place in heaven were the means of living a Christian life. Realizing, that it is simply impossible for me to be a perfect Christian, much less perfect person, I sought out to find new truths. What I found was astounding. God in fact is not a character who sits in heaven watching to see how many homeless shelters we visit, bible studies we host, or “rebels” we condemn. He is actually the biggest advocator for love, grace, and acceptance , who ever was or ever will be. He is devastated that our church culture so often brings people into it’s walls and then send them out in frustration, isolation, and confusion, instead of translating his message clearly. This message he whispers says, “I’m so glad you are here. I don’t care what you have done, I don’t’ even care what kind of person you are. I’ve been waiting to offer you some of this free grace I have just for you. Let me love you. Lets start there.” Ephesians 2:4-5 But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, evenwhen we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ— by grace you have been saved—
You guys , I have been hurt by people, I have been hurt by the church, and I have been hurt by myself. Most of you have been as well. However, One thing I do know for certain, is that I have never been hurt by Jesus. I have only been loved, forgiven, and adopted into a kingdom of grace. I am dedicated to sharing this truth with others, because its changed my life, allowed my to take a deep breath of relief, and begin to live in freedom instead of bondage.
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God.
Ephesians 2:8
So that being said, here I am spazzy style. I am Lexi. I’m really messy and broken. Sometimes I get angry because I feel insufficient, or insecure about some area of myself or my life ( just writing that word insecure me feel overly exposed. How’s that for honesty;) . I can be very harsh, or I can close myself off from others so that they cant see the pain I’m feeling. I’m also very honest. I’m learning that when I tell others about my struggles, a certain bonding takes place, and we can search for grace together. I really like that. I really like talking to people about their stories because I enjoy relating to one another, as I find you almost always will on some level if you speak honestly. On the lighter side, I’m very maternal. I want to comfort every person on the planet and make them some chicken soup. I love empowering women, and using my stories of brokenness walk with them towards knowing their beauty and worth. I like to drink tea, and share my tea with people around me…. From the same mug preferably so we are both getting warm together from the same seeping herbs. I love love love my siblings. I have four sisters and two brothers, as the oldest I am so fond of each of them! Also as the oldest, I can be domineering, and I am learning how to harness this so that it doesn’t negatively affect relationships and other areas of my life. I’m slightly spastic, I’m very intuitive when it comes to people, I have no sense of direction so don’t let me drive. I like to take kids to the zoo and live vicariously through their joy and curiosity. Is that weird? I like the color red because its sensual and passionate, and I like to dance for fun because I feel like no one can tell me what to do. Probably some unhealthy things behind both, along the lines of rebellious tendencies… I’ll look in to it, but yeah its true! I love to sing, and enjoy sitting on the porch with friends and family listening to a story. I study international business, mostly because I like red lipstick, briefcases, and going around the world. I love to cook with rosemary, and sometimes I wish I was Latin American or maybe Arab…that is genuinely weird. I shouldn’t say it. Traveling makes me feel alive, and I truly love people so so so much because when I’m focusing on them I think less of myself and it just works out so much better! My parents are great, they are two of my best friends. I am beginning to live in a state of being overwhelmed, because I kind of am in a process of learning how deeply God wants to carry me next to him, and be my friend. I’ve always “known” this, but to feel it is something else completely. When I was little I wanted to be either, a missionary or a farmer when I grew up……..
That’s an unorthodox but heartfelt bit about me. Thank you for being a part of this journey I am embarking on, not just physically but spiritually and emotionally as well. Please contact me with any questions or with any requests on how I can be praying for you. Also, please know that a lot of you have different beliefs and thoughts in terms of spirituality. I want to be very clear that this blog is a reflection of the truths I have personally found, and this is an open invitation for people of all backgrounds and beliefs to share in my journey. I’ll let my stories/experiences do the talking for me, but no judgment will take place here as I invite anyone and everyone into this season with me.
Only love for you guys,
-Lexi
