God,
I need you. I need you to quiet my heart and comfort my soul.
I don’t know how to respond to or process the situation I just walked through..
On the way to the leper colony we got off one bus to catch another.
As we were waiting a man walked up to us with a metal trident, septor, and snake in one hand and a metal bucket for money in the other.
At his presence, the hairs on the back of my neck stood on end. Something was wrong. This was not a safe man to be around.
I wanted to run. Every instinct in my body was telling me to leave and don’t look back. To get myself away from this man, now.
Something held me there. I want to say it was a protective instinct. An internal need to protect the other 5 girls on my team.
I’m terrified to think of the other possible weight holding me rooted to that spot.
Fear. Fear of the tangible darkness eminating from this disheveled man standing before me. Fear of something so dark I have never felt anything like it before.
Regardless of why I stood there.
I just stood.
I stood rooted to that spot while every red light and emergency siren was flashing and wailing in my head.
I just wanted him to leave. I wanted to give him whatever it took for him to leave us alone.
But, I didn’t want to give him money because who knows what he would have done when he saw a wallet full of bills and credit cards.
So instead, I dropped my peanut butter granola bar into his bucket, looked him in the eye, and said that was all we have, no more.
He didn’t get the hint. He didn’t leave.
I turned back to the group preparing myself to tell them we needed to leave, when Depak, our amazing host, walked into the conversation. As soon as he walked up, his light drove out the darkness and the man walked away.
After the darkness left and the hairs on the back of my neck resumed their normal position, Depak told us that man is part of a group of people within the Hindu community called “Holy Babas” aka a “Crazy Babas.” This group takes part in the consumption of human flesh as a form of worship.
When that man walked up all I could feel was darkness and an urge to flee, when he walked away I finally knew why.
Father, I’m sickened, confused, and distraught after that situation. I just ask Lord for your hand of comfort and love to fall on me and each member of my team.
Since we arrived in Kathmandu you have been slowly showing me how dark this city is. Today I looked upon the face of a man who was trapped in a darkness even deeper than what you have showed me.
I pray Lord. I fall at your feet broken. A beg of you Lord, to shine your light so brightly in this city that no darkness may remain. Because, without you, the darkness will become so overwhelming that we lose sight of the worth of a human life.
Papa, I sit in your lap. Knowing there is no safer place to be, and I ask for your light to shine through us. That when we leave Kathmandu it will be a brighter place than when we entered it.
I know you will never leave or forsake us, and, with that, I am comforted. I know in that situation you were as present as you are now. I pray Lord that I will walk in confidence in your Holy presence.
Amen.
