This week started the first week of college classes. I was a little over whelmed as I already have other things on my plate. First coming in to gap year I didn’t know that I would be taking college classes the next semester, it kind of just all fell into place. I knew that it worked out for a reason. Before going in to this I had planned on becoming a investigator and attending Sam Houston University. So recently I have been doing ride alongs with our local police department. I have absolutely loved it because I have already learned a lot about it. My heart is in meeting the needs of others and know I will achieve that by this profession.
I want to be a police officer, but I fear that the Lord won’t want me to be that. I have worried and contemplated it lately and it scares me. I know that he will give me clear direction after I finish gap year. I know that he wants me to do something with it or he wouldn’t have opened the doors he opened. My mom reminded of verse when I told her about this.
“Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” psalm 37:4
This gives me an assurance that I need to be in prayer about it and he will show me. So in saying this I so badly wish that I could get a head start with the career an keeping going. I have become unexcited about the trip, and I know thats not how it should be. I haven’t questioned it because I’m going no matter what. I mean I’m half way there with my fundraising there is no way I’m backing out now. I just need to be reminded. I need that excitement again, I need to know that if I do this the Lord is going to bless me and give my guidance for the future.
I have reached a point where I’m stuck, and I need to continue. I need some down time, I need to relax and to remember why I’m doing this. I need that joy and excitement, I need to hear that even though I feel like everything not gonna be okay that it will be. In saying this, say a prayer for me that My heart will become excited for this like I was in the beginning, and that I will find passion in it again.
This trip is for a reason. This trip is for a purpose. I know that next year at this time, when I begin to look back that I will realize that I doubted for no reason because of the opportunities that I will have experienced.
Hope you have a blessed day. – Lexi
