This is about a change of heart. So we are entering week 3 of being accepted. God has already showed me so much through out this whole thing and its only week 3. The biggest thing he is doing is some heart surgery. The lord is changing me and I can tell a difference already.
This summer when I went to Guatemala the lord did major things in my life. He changed some areas in my life that I could never change on my own. I had committed then that I was going to live my senior year for his glory only, I was done living for Lexi. I Am human of course and things just didn’t end up that way. I began falling into the previous behaviors I know that I was doing was not what I had promised the lord. Had my heart really changed? It had it just took some reflection.
A major thing I had struggled with was guilt. I know that guilt was something Satan used in my life to keep me from furthering my relationship with the Lord. Our awesome leader Chantel helped me realize that you are never to far into something that you cant get out. Often I felt that I wasn’t any good for the Lord anymore, but really he didn’t see me by my sin at all. Jesus had took that sin from me over 2,000 years ago, that I still could seek his forgiveness. His grace is an ocean and that even when you feel like you are drowning in your sin, we have a cool enough savior that he walked on water and can save you.
I knew from then on that the lord would accept me broken and all. Before being accepted I knew that it was time it was time to live out my promise. After being accepted I could really feel the power of prayer come through. I began and still pray that the lord changes my heart that he makes me into who he has called me to be. I read a quote that said “Jesus doesn’t call the equipped he equips the called.” God hasn’t called me because he knows that I’m perfect because believe my I’m far from it, but God has called me because he knows I need just as much work as others.
God has already showed me in areas of my life that he has changed. There’s sacrifices I have already made without even being hesitant like I would have been before. I have been more worried about my relationship with Christ than I have with anything else. I wouldn’t trade the nights staying home and spending time with my family and not going out and doing things that I shouldn’t for anything. I know that not wanting to do what others my age are doing is hard, but I know that what God has called me to do is more important. If I’m gonna do this 9 months for the lord why not prepare for it now?
“Am I now trying to win human approval, or God’s approval? Or am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ. – Galatians 1:10
I love this verse, it simply backs up everything I have said previously. I am no longer living of this world. I have decided that I am a servant of God that should act like one. I know the lord will bless me in this, and even when I feel a lone in my decision I know in the end it will pay off. The Lord has plans for the future, sometimes it takes that little leap of faith. 
Sent to serve,
Lexi
