Tonight was our last night of session on the World Race. We always start session with worship so tonight also concluded our last night of worship together. And I know for that reason God used this night to show just how much he loves me and just how proud of me he is.
So here is a little background story for you to understand the full story. While I was in Guatemala in the very beginning of my race the Lord gave me a very clear beautiful image. I was standing in a church sanctuary, it was my wedding and the chapel was gorgeous and big really big. I vividly remember seeing the Lord at the end of the isle standing where my groom should be standing. In the beginning I had taken it as the Lord is at my wedding and he has someone so special for me that he is standing in front of them and I must be patient with him. I became obsessed with idea of marriage and weddings. I didn’t have a reason why but the one image God had given me.
I had heard the song “Broken Vessels” for the first time in Guatemala and was immediately drawn to it. (I have also mentioned in it in a previous blog because it has meant so much to me.) I made up my mind that I wanted to walk down the isle to it at my wedding because I liked it that much.
So fast-forward to mini debrief Guatemala, a few days before we were supposed to take off to Malaysia and we had just got team changes for the first time. We had a session on marrying the Lord, and what it looks like to be married to Christ, and how intimate relationships in our life will not workout unless we first marry Christ. In the Bible Jesus is depicted as a bridegroom actively seeking us his bride. That night at worship as I was singing the song “The Stand” the Lord gave me yet again my image of my wedding. Shortly after I had gotten this image again the song came to an end and Erin began playing “Broken Vessels.”
That is when the Lord told me, “It’s time, It’s time for you to marry me. You have said you are fully surrendered so now it’s time to let me have total control over your heart.” Tears flowed, as I knew that it was in fact time. Then he spoke more to me, he told me that my Guatemala team got me ready for the wedding, they worked on the preparation process, and they helped me surrender, and made it easier to get to the actual event. And then that my new team, which is my current team, would help walk me down the Isle. I remember telling my teammate Carissa ( new teammate at the time) right after it happened and journaling about it, but after that I didn’t think much about it again.
That is until tonight ….
So the song started playing in worship and immediately I got the image again, but this time it was different. I was ready I was finally ready to walk down the isle to my groom. And as most grooms do my groom (Jesus) was crying , and as in the song “Broken Vessels” it says “Oh I can see it now, oh I can see the love in your eyes” I could truly see the Love in Jesus’s eyes for me. Tears began flowing and flowing in abundance at this point to. Then as I locked eyes he began saying, I am so proud of you, you are not the same person that looked at me down the isle 9 months ago and questioned why you are here and how you got there. You are a different bride 9 months later who is put together and ready to take on the commitment of marriage ( metaphor of life ) with me. He told me you are no longer that “Broken Vessel.” And it is with amazing grace that you will never be the same broken vessel. “
I was weeping and could barely catch my breath at the end of worship, but the transition into a talk helped me pull myself together. Myself being a verbal processor shared with my teammate Morgan what had happened thus making me realize just how much God has prepared me along the way for this “wedding.” He has used my team to walk me down the isle. He has shown me the meaning to the Song and the meaning to what a “ Broken vessel” is I believe that I was a broken vessel by the bad choices I made, not by a bad situation that has happened to me. I know the Lord has created me to be a vessel but there has been times where I have strayed which has caused brokenness. Finally when the Lord brought me to a full surrender it was then that he made me a vessel who is put together but yet not perfect still always in need of improvement.
I know that this marriage was a metaphor to my race; it was the picture of how God has redeemed me and changed me over these 9months. I know that like a typical marriage the 1st year is the hardest, and I know that going home will be hard at first with transition but also with my personal walk. I know that like also any good marriage I will only fall deeper and deeper in love with my groom along the way.
Thank you truly so much for following my journey. It has been worth it. It has been the best personal and independent decision that I have ever made it in my life. No one will ever truly know just how grateful I am to have the opportunity to be a vessel for the Lord.
With so much love,
Lexi
