We packed our bags and left our dear friends in Malaybalay last night. We’re back in Manila for two days, and will fly to Siem Reap (Cambodia) tomorrow evening. Goodbyes are always a struggle for me.These last twenty four hours have been rather rough. I’m trying not to live with a spirit of comparison as I walk around Manila, wishing bits and pieces of Malaybalay were bundled up and brought back with us. I miss the muddy driveway. I miss the 5am wake-up calls (O’Neil running around the field, yelling!). I miss going up to the pavillion before everyone else wakes up to sip my coffee as I listen to Benhard play his morning worship songs. I miss the sound of Rosaly’s giggle, and the morning chore list we do with the kids before they go to school. I miss the children’s school uniforms. I miss Helen’s humble and loving smile. I miss that “light up” feeling you get as you watch Roxanne sprint toward you across the field to give you a hug and kiss. I miss Awana. I miss Gerlie’s “mama duck” parade of toddlers. I miss the balancing act required to get my cup to sit upright at the dinner table. I miss watching the water truck roll up the driveway several times a day. I even miss the painfully cold showers. (Okay maybe not that last one!) I miss the hearts, stories and smiles of Malaybalay. It hurts to walk away from it all. It’s difficult to press forward.
But if we don’t…
“For all sad words of tongue or pen, the saddest are these: it might have been.” –John Whittier
What if we always played it safe? What if we were always comfortable…where we can’t get hurt? What if no one danced in the rain because they were avoiding the mud? What if no one experienced a precious baby sleeping in their arms because they didn’t want to wait through their three hours of crying? What if no one ever saw the smile on a child’s face when they’re brought their only hot meal of the day, simply because they didn’t want to cook over a smokey fire in hot and humid weather? What if you never became a human jungle gym for beautiful toddlers because you didn’t want your favorite shirt to get ruined? What if dozens of kids never got to play soccer in their field, because we were too lazy to plant grass for two weeks straight?
Luckily for us…these “what ifs” cannot damage us. We came. We loved. We served. We opened up. We saw God move. We were His hands and His feet.There are no “it might have been’s” for this squad. Does it hurt? Yes. Is it hard to say goodbye? Yes. Is it worth it? Can doing this ten more times in one year possibly be worth that much saddness? Absolutely.
What if…
What if no one stuffed a few pairs of clothes in a backpack, surrendered eleven months of their life to God, and flew to Malaybalay to show Rosaly how much God loves her? What then? We don’t need to sit and suffer over the “it might have been’s” this year. We got to see God move. And the most amazing thing about that? We get to see Him moving still. Each time we pack up and move on….we experience His movement in a new place, in a new way, in a new light.
Malaybalay family, there is a special place for you in my heart. Life with you has been incredible. But our story doesn’t stop here. God’s plans are bigger than our comfort zones–what a hard pill to swallow. It’s time to pack and press on. It’s time to be hands and feet somewhere else. My prayers are grounded with you. I’ll miss you. And I’ll love you from wherever God leads us next. Thanks for everything!
Father,
Your plan for me is bigger than my comfort zone. You’ve prepared the way for my team and I…and we’re ready to meet you in Cambodia.
Amen <><
