During these last few days in the United States, I have been growing and dealing with a lot spiritually. This week has been about sacrifice. For the past 6 years, I have directed a dance camp at my home church. It is the highlight of my year, which I have poured blood, sweat, and tears into, literally. It is my baby, and I am so proud of how God has moved and grown this ministry.
However, in order to leave for the World Race and do RAKAD Dance Camp (that’s the camp’s name), I had to say no to my extended family’s annual vacation in Gulf Shores, AL. My extended family lives all over the U.S. and often times seeing people during this week is the only time I see them for an entire year. We eat BLTs for lunch every day, go on cousin beach walks and stay up late telling family stories at night, and the younger cousins (and second cousins) usually cause ruckus and fun for everyone. I love going to Gulf Shores, AL each year, and this is my first time ever not going.
Instead of spending precious time with my family, I am staying home alone for a week. Instead of eating BLTs every single day, I will probably eat as much American food as I can while sitting on the couch watching Lord of the Rings. Instead of shenanigans with cousins (I’m looking at you, Maggie), I will be keeping campers from starting shenanigans of their own. Instead of sharing laughs with family members, I will be bending over backwards to bring joy to my campers. Instead of being surrounded by loved ones, I am surrounding myself with the love of God. Instead of family, I am choosing the work God has called me to do.
This sounds controversial and terrible, but I think that choosing my ministry over spending time vacationing with my family is what God was challenging me to do. It hurts, but it has also exposed to me the idol I have in my family and close relationships. In Matthew 10:37, Luke 14:26, and many other verses talk about how in our love for God should be so great, that our relationships, even with family, will seem pale by comparison. So, instead of letting my family pour into me all week, I am pouring into the lives of 55 young girls for a week.
I know my one week of RAKAD Dance Camp is only the beginning of my “instead of“s. (I have a whole year of those to come still) I know that God is only just starting to break me down, so He can rebuild me. But I just wanted, you all to know, that I am deeply hurting right now. I miss my family. I miss those experiences. I miss my support system. But I’m excited about how God is moving.
