The honeymoon phase of my race is over and the reality of this life has hit square in the face- this isn’t easy. it’s not easy to unroot yourself from everything that’s comfortable and throw yourself into a whole unknown world where culture, language and relationships are completely different. It’s not easy to just start settling in to a country and realize it’s time to pack up and head to the next destination. to be honest, some days it’s down right discouraging.
what is easy is to sit and wallow in how challenging it can be instead of embracing how wonderful the journey is. When I’m holding one crying baby and trying to rock the other one asleep in their bouncy chair with my foot it’s totally easy for me to go to the place of “why on earth did I think coming on this mission was a good idea?” but what I forget is how blessed I am to be thought of as worthy enough to endure the suffering.
choosing this missionary life means dying to myself daily and constantly choosing joy and let me tell you, it’s a moment by moment choice. but I’ve seen the alternative and I know that’s not the mindset Jesus called me to.
so every day, every hour, every moment I’m going to choose joy. I’ll choose Jesus. At 3 am when I’m rocking a crying toddler back to sleep I’ll choose joy. When my teammates are literally driving me up the wall, I’ll choose joy. Where happiness is fleeting, joy and Jesus never change and that’s exactly where I want to be.
the race is not always ideal, nor is it always fun but it is rewarding beyond reason. because I’m making a conscious effort to choose joy I’ve been able to see Jesus come alive in situations I didn’t think he was there. I’ve been able to love like Him, even when I didn’t feel like I could. And even on the hardest days I go to bed at night wondering how I was blessed enough to have Jesus call me here. I’m beyond blessed.
