Can you believe that we are wrapping up our third month? I am sitting in Costa freaking Rica, with a swollen face from getting attack by mosquitoes last night, and all I can truly think about is how good my Father is.
There are numerous things that I want to write about, from awesome ministries that we got to work alongside, to how the Lord uses hard, real, and sometimes frustrating community for His good to bring glory to His kingdom. The Lord has been speaking to my heart, to the deepest part of my soul, my entire being. In this short month of this grand journey I have laughed uncontrollably, played the tambourine in a reggae band, held babies, hugged perfect strangers, slept in an ant infested tent, and took more hot showers than I probably will all year. I have cried in the arms of some of my teammates, I have felt like giving up, got to see face-to-face what real poverty looks like, held and prayed for greatness of many tiny humans, and seen how thankful those are who have nothing. Guys…God wrecked me this month.
We had the opportunity to meet with various ministries in Costa Rica who have the heart of the father, ministries, families, and staff members who want nothing more than to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this place. Our ministry this month was to seek out those people, connect with them, work alongside, them in hopes that a World Race or any AIM team would come and be able to work alongside them in the future; Unsung Hero Month. Strong Ministries was one of the groups we got to meet with, they work to further the kingdom of God in Costa Rica. We had the honor go help with a feeding in La Carpio; one of the slums here in Costa Rica, with the help of Strong Ministry and a local church feedings happen 5 days a week. Children that live in the slums come to the church at noon everyday, patiently sit, pray a prayer of thanksgiving for what Jesus has given them, and eat. For some of the children this could be the only meal they have all day, but they come and say a prayer of thanksgiving for what Jesus has given them. They say a prayer of thanksgiving for what Jesus has given them. They say a prayer of thanksgiving for what Jesus has given them. Shall I say it again?
This was one of those moments when I can’t fight back the tears, when I am left speechless, and when I stand there in awe of this childlike faith being displayed right in front of me. In this short time the Lord revealed to me that I need to expect Him to show up. In times of uncertainty and not knowing what I am going to eat tomorrow,to expect Him to show up. In not only the big things but also the small things, He cares and is ready to step in; Matthew 6: 26 says, “Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they?” The things that moves me about these children is that they walk in faith, they may not know that right now, but they walk in faith that Abba God will provide a meal that day. They go to the church everyday in faith that there will be food for them, and before they eat they thank Jesus for what He has given them. Children that walk in faith and thanksgiving everyday, expectant of the good Father to show up. I want to walk in that faith, help me Jesus.
Last night I got into a wrestling match with a few mosquitoes and I lost. I was up all night itching and scratching while trying to find creative ways to hide my body from those blood thirsty beast. I woke up this morning skin burning and face hurting. Before getting out of bed I had to make a choice; I can choose to be angry and grumpy allowing my long sleepless night to get the best of me or I could choose joy, not being ruled by my emotions and circumstances making room for Jesus to shine. Choosing Joy has been a common theme within my team this month; in every circumstance, through every emotion choosing Jesus who is the giver of our joy. There were days this month when I allowed emotions and circumstances get the best of me, days when I would say Jesus this is too hard so I don’t want to do it. I sat in my sorrow and dwell on things that I can’t control, and all along Jesus stood right there waiting for me to grab His hand and choose Him, choose His joy. I have learned that Joy is not an emotion, is not a feeling; joy is who I am. I am joy because He is joy, and He lives inside of me so therefore joy lives inside of me. This simple reality shifts atmospheres, it changes the way we see ourselves, others, and the way we react to situations. When we choose joy we are saying yes to Jesus, excepting all that He has for us, we are saying that no matter the circumstances or the daily hustle and bustle we choose to allow Him to live through us.
Today I wrote in my journal “Jesus, I am feeling closer to you than I have felt in a while. I still need more of you!” As I see the ways that Jesus and I are getting closer, He continues to reveal to me that I can’t do this thing called life on my own. Proverbs 1:7 says “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge…” I pray to grow in wisdom, to grow in knowledge of who He is and His mighty wonders. You guys, God is good. He is faithful. He is gentle. He cares. He believes in me.
I ask that you please continue to keep me, my team, and my squad in your prayers. As we head into month four I ask that you pray that my eyes continue to become more open. That I don’t miss out on the things He has and the oppurtunites to see His kingdom here on earth. I am thankful for all of your support, prayers and love.
“God is always good and I am always loved. Everything is eucharisteo. Because eucharisteo is how Jesus, at the Last Supper, showed us to transfigure all things—take the pain that is given, give thanks for it, and transform it into a joy that fulfills all emptiness. I have glimpsed it: This, the hard eucharisteo. The hard discipline to lean into the ugly and whisper thanks to transfigure it into beauty. The hard discipline to give thanks for all things at all times because He is all good.”
-Ann Voskamp, One Thousand Gifts
