An excerpt taken out of my Journal: August 13, 2015
Yesterday I got to go do construction, we moved bags and bags of dirt to make cement; it was hard and dirty all at the same time. About an hour into working nonstop it starts pouring(I blame Brittine because she prayed for it) so we go sit underneath the tarp so we don’t get even more soaked. By the end of the 4 hours of construction time I would say we spent about an hour and a half waiting for the rain to pass. After a while of waiting one of my squadmates points out a turtle on the other side of the river. The turtle was struggling to stay alive, he kept trying to climb the wall but would fall on his back every time. Each time nearly losing his life by being sucked into the fast river current. As I watched him I see that there are a couple of safe spots that the turtle keeps going to but he would leave after a minute or so and go back to putting his little life in danger.
At one point I realize I had been watching the turtle for over 30 minutes. So intrigued by what he’s going to do next.Every now and then I would lose sight of the turtle and think that the river had gotten him but then he his little head pop up, somehow he stayed safe. Finally I thought to myself ‘why doesn’t the turtle just stay in the safe place?’
I heard my own question coming back to me…’why don’t you?’ And if I am being honest its because I think that there is always somewhere better, somewhere a little bit safer for me.
I think the turtle didn’t feel like he was safest he could be. He could still be in some kind of danger so he wanted to get to higher, dryer ground. He felt like he was in danger where he was actually safe.
From watching this turtle(for way too long) I realized that I am a runner. I don’t stay in places for too long, at some point I begin to feel unsafe; be that physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally. So I run.
Month 8 of the world race has been that for me. The desire to run because I feel like I have been in this place for too long, like I need to find somewhere a little higher, a little dryer. Fortunately this is a season of my life is one where get to stay and figure it out, where I have to work it out with the Lord and not run.I want to be able to trust in the Lord, and the “safe” places He has in store for me. I don’t want to keep wandering. I want to have roots to some place, not be constantly jumping from here to there looking for what I think is right.
Sadly I lost sight of the turtle, but the rain had stopped and river was calm once again. I am sure he found what he was looking for but I hope he decided to just wait it out and trust.
