As I said in my previous blog, in Vietnam (month 4), I learned what it looks like to set aside what I want for what the Lord wants, to push through the uncomfortable and see the great rewards that come from it!
The next month, month 5 in Cambodia I had another transforming moment. A squad mate had to go home for a week for family stuff and a bunch of us took her to the airport in Siem Reap. Walking into the airport something hit me in my heart like a train. I immediately knew that if I was to go home at that moment, I would not have gotten everything from the race that the Lord has for me. I would be missing out on 6 months of more learning, stretching and growing. Taking her to the airport completely solidified that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
A few days later I saw that the pool at the hostel was empty and no one was around. Basically, on the race that doesn’t happen.
There’s always someone around #community 🙂
So I took that opportunity because I have had some of my best conversations with the Lord in the water. I floated and swam and spilled my guts to the Lord. I was thinking about that airport moment, what I learned in Vietnam and also how far I’ve come.
And then He said:
Lene, what does it look like for you to go all in?
There are not a lot of things in my life that have been done halfway.
I like to go all in. I like to go 110%
Work hard, play hard & pray hard.
I realized I had been giving the race some, but not all of me. I had been holding back on experiences and opportunities.
I’ve learned so much but still have so much more to go! So much more to see!
It’s like when you’re running a marathon and you don’t give it your all at first because you know that you have to spare some energy for the rest. You don’t want to use up everything you have right at the start.
Well, I realized that I had been doing that with the race. I wasn’t going all in because I was trying to conserve energy to be able to have some at the end. I was holding some of myself back, almost like protecting myself until maybe the last 3 months because that would be easier. It would be easier to really abandon, to really be vulnerable and to really invest if it was only for a few weeks.
But that’s not what I’m here for.
So, I recommitted.
I re-invited myself to the race at month 5.
I re-invited the squad along with me when I shared all of this at our LDW (leadership development weekend) at the end of our time in Cambodia.
For the next 6 months, no more holding back.
How privileged and blessed are we to be able to spend an entire year just seeking the Lord and sharing His good news.
That’s an honor that I hope to get the most out of!!
From that day on, no more storing up reserves for the end of the race.
I’m letting God give me my daily bread.
I’m using up my bread for that day, doing the most with it that I can.
And then the next day, asking Him to give me bread for that day.
I’m not storing it up or saving it, I’m using it all for that day. For His glory!
I shared with the squad some things that I will be going all in on. Things like being as vulnerable as I can, because it’s safe with them. Sharing more about what I’m learning and hearing from the Lord. Saying YES to the hard things, and saying the hard things #feedback. Truly letting God be the center and focus of each of my days.
I’m all in.
I’m here, in the present. What a gift! 😉
“Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later. For all creation is waiting eagerly for that future day when God will reveal who his children really are. Against its will, all creation was subjected to God’s curse. But with eager hope, the creation looks forward to the day when it will join God’s children in glorious freedom from death and decay. For we know that all creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time. And we believers also groan, even though we have the Holy Spirit within us as a foretaste of future glory, for we long for our bodies to be released from sin and suffering. We, too, wait with eager hope for the day when God will give us our full rights as his adopted children, including the new bodies he has promised us. We were given this hope when we were saved. (If we already have something, we don’t need to hope for it. But if we look forward to something we don’t yet have, we must wait patiently and confidently.) And the Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness. For example, we don’t know what God wants us to pray for. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. For God knew his people in advance, and he chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. And having chosen them, he called them to come to him. And having called them, he gave them right standing with himself. And having given them right standing, he gave them his glory.”
Romans 8:18-30 NLT
