As my team was laying on the sand in Jeffrey’s Bay soaking up some South African sun, I went for a walk with Jesus. I walked straight into the ocean and immediately tears started falling down my face.
So much had happened in the last few months and I had done almost no processing. I moved out of my apartment, quit my job, went to South Africa in December, came back to the states for a week to pack, went to launch and headed straight back to SA for month 1.
I cried because I was so happy to be back in South Africa. Because of how much I feel at home in this land, time spent away from here and growth that could only come from being away.
I cried because of goodbyes.
I cried because of the amazing things that happened to get me to that very moment. All the ways God was faithful and present, all of the generosity, love and encouragement.
I cried for the Xhosa people I encountered that are living in extreme poverty. I was completely heartbroken for them. They have nothing, and still have smiles on their faces. It was so beautiful and painful to experience.
I feel closest to the Lord when I’m at the beach and I knew He provided that absolutely beautiful moment so that I could finally process. I laid it all in his hands as I was sobbing in the waves.
Thankful for perfect and intimate moments like that with Jesus. He knows me so well and knows what I need and when I need it. It made my heart free to love these Xhosa kids like there’s no tomorrow, free to reconcile with a culture opposite of mine, and free to be His hands and feet.
