Today marks a year. A year in the same country,
mostly the same city, same room, same bed. A year with every comfort
imaginable, and the only travel being weekends with a small carry-on
bag, not a backpack. A year of sitting in an air conditioned office. A
year of being able to eat whatever I want when I want, no 
beans or rice.
A year of making new friends in the city I left. A year of learning to
be content in one place. A year where nothing is different, yet
everything has changed. A year of transformation.
Landing in Los Angeles after a year abroad on the
World Race, I had no idea what was ahead of me, no inkling what I
wanted, no clue what God wanted for me. One year later, it
seems as though nothing has changed, even the Gamecocks are in the
College World Series championship again. I am still figuring out what
God has for my life, still learning who I am, still seeking the mystery
of who He is.
Over the past year my passion for the orphans and
widows has grown, despite their absence in my daily life. I still hurt
when I think of the millions of people in poverty. I still cry over the
people who think they have no choice but to sell themselves to make ends
meet, or even traffic their children hoping to give them a better life.
I am burdened for people who lost everything in a single moment. My
heart breaks for the impoverished who don’t see hope, encompassed in
darkness. I still don’t know what I am supposed to do about it.
It would be easy to sit and compare and feel that
my year at home was wasted. To feel that after a year moving from the
inner city of Dublin to the African bush to the jungles of Southeast
Asia living among the poorest of the poor, sitting in an office 40 hours
a week means nothing. It would be easy to spend today fixating on all
the things I didn’t do this year, places I didn’t go, people I didn’t
meet.
Instead I am going to spend today celebrating what
God did in my life this year. The people I have been
blessed to meet,
and the relationships that have grown even deeper. For the change He has
made in my heart, and for the passions that remain. I will praise Him
because I still don’t know what lies ahead, because I am still learning
my role in His plan, and as I discover more of God’s heart mine will
change as well. The Lord has a unique purpose for my life, and I don’t
have to worry about the next step. I just have to follow. I just have to
listen to His voice and obey.
Thank you Jesus for this year. Thank you for a
family that loves me and a roof over my head. Thank you for better
friends than I deserve, who demonstrate Your love for me so well. Thank
you for air conditioning and clean water. Thank you for Charles and my
time behind the fence. Thank you for the times I felt lonely in a room
full of people, and the reminder that You were with me. Thank you for
continuing to shape my heart to look like yours, even though it hurts.
Thank you that I am not complete, and that you will never give up on me.
