I have a big problem making decisions. I don’t know what I want. Or everything sounds good. Or I overanalyze things. Or I don’t think things through enough and the consequences bite me in the butt.
So I found this book for people like me called The Best Yes. Written by president of Proverbs 31 Ministries Lysa TerKeurst, it is based on the premise that sometimes you must say NO to good things in order to save your YES for the best things.
Chew on that for a minute.
DECISION MADE
I know 100% I am supposed to be doing the World Race for the next 11 months of my life. God has given me peace (quite literally in the form of a giving key necklace saying “PEACE” my sweet friend Kaylee passed along—Check this out http://www.thegivingkeys.com/pages/our-story). Committing to anything for me is a feat. And I committed to this. And I prayed for peace in this decision and God more than answered me—
He sent Dr. Kent Brantly, the ebola survivor, to speak at Harding. Dr. Brantly explained his passion for missions and the conflicting emotions accompanying his initial commitment. He realized his only hold back was that he had made an idol of comfort and that God DOES NOT call us to live comfortable lives! That one slapped me in the face.
He did CRAZY stuff at training camp (refer to my last post for details).
He abundantly blessed me in the fundraising process showing me how plentiful my life is with his workers. As of my going away party Saturday, I am FULLY FUNDED! Praise Him for that! Such a huge relief and added affirmation that this decision has been the right one. I don’t have adequate words to express appreciation to my supporters who believe in Him for also believing in me.
SECOND GUESSING
However, the doubt inevitably arises. My thoughts become full of worry—
Am I crazy for leaving my family and friends for this long? What if they need me?
Surely people who make a decision to leave their people don’t have as good people as I do?
Surely when Jesus talks of leaving everything behind to follow him, he doesn’t expect me to give up this much good?
Why does my heart ache so much saying goodbye to my family and friends, if this is what I am supposed to do?
THE BEST YES
So if that saying no to empower your yes thing is still processing for you, let me share my revelation of its application to my current predicament:
I have to say NO to being physically present with my family for holidays and my friends’ weddings and graduations in order to say YES to what God needs from me in Bulgaria, Romania, Albania, Kosovo, Mozambique, South Africa, Swaziland, Colombia, Ecuador, Peru, and Bolivia.
My people are awesome people. People who have tears well up in their eyes when I leave them because they love me so well. People who send me off with promises for prayers everyday. People who sing over me “Because I know you I have been changed for the better.” People who forgive me for leaving them even if they need me. Of course my heart aches to part with them—I would be crazy if it did not. Anything that is worth it is never easy.
But God keeps reminding me: Experiencing how hard it is to leave the “good” that is my home, I can only imagine the good I will have to tell of a year from now! Good is God. He is at home with me in Arkansas and He goes with me every step. I have nothing to fear. He is with me.
God knows I look for affirmation in the little things–words of affirmation is my love language. So He sent me some today via twitter. My sweet friend Bob Goff (he doesn’t know we are friends) said “God uses uncertainty in our lives to remodel our hearts.” Through my weakness, He is strong! And that affirmation of my second guessing, ironically, put doubt to rest.
THE TRUTH
While it is still no fun saying “See you later” to the people I would rather put in my pocket and take along for the ride, the truth is, I could not be more ready to see what the Lord has in store. I get to go into the world having made this Best Yes decision to serve others and have my heart remodeled by God!
