Training camp, exactly how do you explain something so deep and personal that changes you at your core, which resets your view of yourself. Each and every one of us was created in Gods image, who are we to judge someone, or for that matter ourselves, when we are perfectly and wonderfully made.
The beginning of training camp was all about personal development and getting ready for the field. For me this was an emotionally draining but freeing experience, the knowledge I’ve had for years of God’s love finally reached my heart. I was able to step into my identity in Christ, for what others think is nothing compared to what Jesus thinks of me.
For a long time I had not allowed myself to feel, I would stuff my emotions down until I didn’t notice them. Every once in a while I would let myself cry, but because I didn’t know what the reason was or I was embarrassed even when no one was there, I would try and push them down and deny the hurt. Then in training camp we were asked to share our hurt/pain/grief with our team. The realization that grief doesn’t need justification and that I am not alone in my experiences and thoughts, allowed me to cry and be vulnerable in front of people.
Each part of training camp was about learning to do things differently, tearing down walls and allowing people close. We were rarely alone from meal time to training sessions to free time to sleeping. Meal time was about understanding potential situations we may come across in the countries we visit, be it quantity, type of food and/or cultural traditions. I tried crickets. Free time was to make us think about creating habits for recharging, especially when we are surrounded by people 24/7. Sleeping arrangements were constantly changing but that was so we can better prepare ourselves for traveling and making adjustments as needed, we would sleep in our own tent, we would share tents, we built a large lean-to for 55 people, and I realized ear plugs are a requirement, so thankful for headphones.
Each aspect made us uncomfortable but as a squad it brought us closer together having experienced it together. So much so that by the end of 10 days of training camp, which also happened to be my birthday I had 54 new family members who helped me to celebrate, not only making it through training camp but the start of a new year.
I am excited to start down this path come January and if you would like to know what I’m up to during my trip, please subscribe to my blog.
