South Afica has been such an incredible journey I feel like this month God had to break me of many things before I could move on.
The overall theme that I’ve been learning this month has been about loving myself.
In some way or another I have been ashamed about some part of me or my past or personality or maybe thought life could be easier if I lived a different way or made different choices. God has been pounding at me to hash this out with Him
So I told Him that I’m not fit to be His hands and feet, that He chose wrong.
there are plenty of other people out there, why not choose one of them?
I have too many issues to deal with, I’m not even that great of a person and blah blah blah
God simply said “why?”
I got smart. Remember that time I said this to that person and made them feel like that? or that time I thought this? or that time I just really didn’t care? or that time I did the opposite of what you asked? or when I ran as fast as I could from you?
God said “and?”
I argued and talked and listened and fought until I had nothing more to question
He drowned me in His grace, I felt so undeserving and blessed at the same time
He had to get me to that point, rendered speechless, so He could fill me with
His love
strength
courage
I had to get to that point so I could understand why He brought me here, so I could grasp why He loves me, so I could see how to love myself God has compleatly blown out of the water and rewired how I see His love for me how I love myself how to accept my calling and we aren’t even done with month one yet.
