5 things that have shaped my experience in Cambodia so far (order has zero importance):
1. Homesickness
2. Ministry
3. Community
4. Fear
5. God’s faithfulness
Someone recently told me, “people don’t hang hard times on the wall”. & because I don’t want to, I’m going to do exactly that –
Since arriving, life has been a whirlwind of emotions & transitioning. This solely consists of all five things listed above. There really aren’t “good” or “bad” days – it’s more of a mixture of everything imagineable. Some days, I would literally sit down & write out every single thing I missed about home, and just question why I decided to move 9,000 miles away from the people that know me best and the comfort of absolutely anything in the U.S. Some days, I’ve cried because it’s hard living with 45 people and feeling like there isn’t a square foot on earth to sit and just be. Some days, I’ve cried because ministry is sometimes painful & hard when you don’t see some things come to fruition. There have been days where I’ve thought about my family & future & tried to solve problems that hadn’t even come into existence. All of these things make up the borders of a large puzzle. The lord’s faithfulness is what fills the empty spaces, & creates a vision in times like these. Throughout the homesickness, the struggle to keep pursuing relationships, the discouragement or fear- whatever it may be, He has sustained me every dang time. In absolutely every single one of these moments, he’s given me somebody, scripture, a song, a sunset- something to remind me who he is & my purpose in him. To remind me that he doesn’t need me to reach people here, but he chose me to be a part of the bigger picture. And that when things are in my control they’re an absolute train wreck, but when I give it up to him life is much simpler.
At first, I was reluctant to write about this because I felt it necessary to write more about how he’s reaching Cambodia. But I realized that a lot of how he’s showing me he’s faithful is in the ministry we’re doing & the people we’re meeting here. With only two weeks left, I can say that living here now is much different than when we started. His spirit lives in this house – one and a half months ago many people were sick & waking up in the middle of the night terrified. He’s working in the hearts of people we’ve had the opportunity to build relationships with through teaching and outreach. My squad is a walking testimony of his faithfulness. He’s walking each and every one of us through this time & hardships we brought from home. & even though we’re all thousands of miles from home, this feels like home because these are people & places made by the same creator, the one who sent us here & the one who is pursuing every single person on this earth, whether they live in Cambodia or not.
