18 countries. 50+ cities. 11 months. 17 planes. 4 trains. A whole lotta buses. Tuk tuks. Rickshaws. Songtowls. Taxis. Pickup trucks. Bicycles. My own 2 feet….and now I’m finally home.
I’ve officially been home for a week today and can honestly say it’s been a big ol whirlwind of feelings. Reentry is just plain weird. I can be somewhere or be doing something and it feels like I never even left, like I’m just picking right back up where I left off a year ago. Was this entire past year even reality? Did I even leave? Some days are really great and I think I’m fine with this whole process but then other days, I’m just in this deeper state of grievance because I miss my World Race family and all the chaos that came with that and I miss the community and all of the incredible places and people I encountered this year. I miss being on the wild adventure around the world with Jesus. I miss getting to experience new cultures and everything that comes with that.
Now that I AM home, I’ve gotten to experience more “firsts” again like driving, (I had to remind myself what side of the road Americans drive on) I got to use a dryer and a microwave, take hot showers, even drink tap water without the fear of getting a parasite or sick from the minerals. I’ve gotten to reconnect with some of my closest friends and even meet sweet Hunter man who was born while I was only in month 4 of the race! I finally got Mexican food that doesn’t taste like Indian curry… although I love Indian curry, I would just prefer it not in my Mexican food! I’ve gotten to have some of my guilty pleasures- diet coke, CHIC-FIL-A, and my mama’s taco soup. I was able to go to my own church this past Sunday. Man, did I miss my church family this year, but man, was it kind of overwhelming for me to be there. As I was trying to figure out why I felt so overwhelmed, I realized it’s because this entire year, almost all of the church services I attended, weren’t in English and now here I am, in my home church, surrounded by English speaking people that I can understand every word of. It’s weird. I miss the church overseas. It’s a lot different than the American church.
There’s moments where I just want to be by myself but at the same time, I don’t want to be by myself because I’m so used to not ever being alone! There’s been other times where I have to stop what I’m doing because again, I get so overwhelmed doing all the responsible, adult things- looking for jobs, worrying about finances and bills, trying to adjust to living with my mom as an almost 28 year old…simply figuring out the next responsible steps in life.
The only thing that I have right now that is constant is Jesus. And I’m ok with that because He’s all I need. Among all the crazy emotions I’m feeling and “life” going on around me, He’s my steady, constant. That’s all I need. I know things will balance out after a while and even though I still have no clue what’s next for me, the Lord does and I trust Him.
Again, please have patience with me during this season. I can’t explain the way that it feels for people to truly understand (unless you’ve done the race of course). I REALLY appreciate all the love I’ve already received from you guys though, it’s definitely helped make this process easier! Right now, I’m just trying to combine 2 worlds that I’ve lived in, both wonderful, but different, into 1. I’m now having to learn how to implement all of the incredible lessons that I’ve learned this past year into my everyday life here in America.
BUT…Don’t get me wrong, as much as I am struggling in moments right now, I really am enjoying being back at home! There’s nothing like America. After having the opportunity to go to some really poor countries that experience so much hurt and poverty, and countries experiencing so much oppression, I’ve truly learned to appreciate the freedom that we have as a nation and how blessed we REALLY are.
The world is a beautiful place. I can’t wait to see where the Lord takes me next.
