So, I just want to be super open and vulnerable with everyone right now about how I’m doing/feeling. In absolutely NO way whatsoever, is this me complaining about anything at all because I truly am enjoying the race and all the incredible things the Lord is allowing me to see and experience-
They say that for most world racers, home sickness usually hits around month 5 or 6. I’m not even going to lie, I thought I’d be homesick way sooner than this but I can officially say…. It’s hit me. Along with the rest of my team. I’m so thankful for them and for the vulnerability we each choose to walk in to with each other. It’s allowed open conversations to happen which has actually really helped us all cope with missing home.
I knew that life would go on back at home while being on the race but I think now that I’ve been gone for 5 months and am actually WATCHING life continue at home for friends and family is a lot tougher than I was thinking it would be.Time doesn’t just stop for you. Peoples’ lives continue and things continue changing every single day.
Missing home is just another step in this whole crazy thing. It’s allowing me to trust the Lord even more. It’s teaching me that I have zero control over ANYTHING. Being out of America for this long, and in other countries, has truly opened my eyes to a lot of things. It’s made me appreciate even the smallest of things that I had back at home. It’s been really odd at times because we’ll be driving down the road and will pass a random building and it’ll suddenly remind me of something back at home. A building just the other day reminded me of North Carolina for some reason! It’s wild to me how that works.
Here’s some things I’m missing:
My mom and sister
My pup and kitty
Great Friends…. and Baby Hunter (can’t believe he’s already a month old. He’ll be 7 months by the time I get home… it breaks my heart I’m missing it!)
My work fam and job (yes, it’s true)
My church family and being able to attend a church service where I can actually understand what’s going on
Chic-Fil-A
Mac & cheese, steak, my mom’s taco soup, pretty much all of my mom’s cooking (this food list could go on forever)
My car and being able to just drive wherever and whenever I want
Not having to rely on other people to transport me places, or rely on them for anything really
My independence and ability to be alone when I want to
Washers and Dryers (Thankfully we’ve had a washer this month)
Clean clothes
My bed
A closet (living out of a backpack is getting difficult)
Baths and hot water (Although the cold water has been very nice these past few months in Asia)
A/C
Routines and knowing what’s happening the next day
TV (and I don’t even watch that much TV at home)
Going to see a movie at the theater and not having to worry about whether it’s in English or not
Drinking tap water and not worrying if I’m going to get a parasite
Knowing what I’m about to put in my mouth to eat
A bathroom with a shower that’s separated from the toilet so everything doesn’t get soaking wet
Literally just being clean and feeling like a girl
Don’t get me wrong, I am experiencing one of the greatest years of my life, and have loved every minute of seeing the world and experiencing other cultures, and I’m certainly not curled up in a ball crying (my heart just aches a little here and there now) but America will always be home.
Doing the World Race is not always pretty and you have to sacrifice quite a bit for it, even the littlest of comforts at home, but one thing I am sure of is that the Lord has purpose for everything and because of my obedience to leave everything behind and follow him to the ends of the earth, he is growing me in my faith, He’s letting me see the beautiful world and all the things in it that He’s created by hand, He’s showing me that He and He alone truly sustains me and that only He can fully satisfy me and fill me. He is literally stripping me of everything I know and am “comfortable” with and pulling me into deeper waters with Him so that I continue growing into the precious daughter he’s created me to be.
Thanks for letting me be REAL with y’all! Also, to everyone who wrote me letters to bring with me, thank you.. they have really helped.
-Leah
