365 days. That’s how long I’ve officially been home as of today. I sit here and think back on this year of being home and am completely perplexed at how we’ve already gotten to this point. I’ve been home longer than I was even on the field, yet this year seemed to fly by way faster than I remember last year.
At our final debrief in South Africa as they were helping us prepare to come home and going over some things to expect, I remember hearing that A LOT of racers really struggle in the year after the race. Some say the year after is even harder than the race itself. I, of course wasn’t going to be one of “those” racers and thought it was kind of crazy that they’d even think that. If I’m being honest now though, it has definitely been a really hard year. The first few months home seemed easy enough. Of course, I had those days where I just felt lost and struggled a bit with normal everyday things but overall I felt good and confident about things. Then month 6 and then 7 hit and it just seemed to get harder. The struggles kind of shifted though. Of course I missed my World Race family and just the way of living overseas but my struggles shifted to different things. One main one being Not really understanding why I was still in Gulfport, Mississippi and not overseas again. Even now, I can’t truthfully say I know what the Lord’s purpose was for me to stay here. Maybe I’ll never know but I have to trust that there was and still is importance in it.
In one of my last blogs at the beginning of the year, I mentioned I had gotten a job at a coffee shop in downtown Gulfport back in Dec. In March they actually made me an assistant manager which I was not expecting but I am still currently there and am loving everything about it. I spent a lot of time in coffee shops when I was overseas and now I just love being able to work in a place that offers a safe space for people to come gather with each other or to simply have some alone time! I have absolutely LOVED getting to interact with people every day, all day long. It is a tad exhausting at times but it has truly become something that fills me. I’ve also discovered a passion for the coffee world. Everything about coffee, how it’s grown to it being served in a cup. It’s actually really fascinating and I’ve learned so much already. Hopefully one day I’ll be to open up my very own shop… maybe even overseas!
It’s hard to catch me staying home most weekends now also. I have REALLY enjoyed continuing to pursue several close friendships I made on the race so you’ll either catch me in Nashville or Jacksonville visiting people! It’s been so life giving to me to have these girls in my life knowing that through anything, they’re going to be there. And same for me with them! I love them dearly!
When I got home, I lived with my mom in Vancleave (which is about 40 min from Gulfport) just to get back on my feet and save up some money but back in October I was able to get my own place in Long Beach so I could be closer to work since I’m always there! It’s been really nice finally having my own space again but at times kind of lonely. I was always with people last year and then coming home was with my mom so this was the first time actually being on my own in over 2 years so it was definitely an adjustment. A good, much needed one though!
Community here is still a little tricky. I’ve actually been able to make several friends through the coffee shop and have been visiting a newer church where a group of people my age are heavily involved so that’s been really encouraging and refreshing. Another girl I’ve become friends with is actually leaving for the World Race in January! It’s been SO much fun walking with her through this journey and has also allowed me to reminisce on really good memories from my own experience! I’m extremely thankful for the people that the Lord has placed in my path this year. Community has looked a whole lot different than expected but it’s been good!
Some days I question if the race even happened. Other days, I relive moments from it that just make me want to be right back there. I’m truly thankful for getting to have this experience. Since being home, it’s definitely been a roller coaster year. Lots of ups. Lots of downs. Happiness. Sadness. Confusion. Feeling purposeful. Feeling purposeless. Loss. Grief. Joy. Gain. Overall it’s been a hard, but GOOD year even if it took me writing this to really see that. I’m thankful for all the Lord has done this year being home and all that he’s going to continue to do even if I don’t understand it. I know that it is rich and full of purpose!
So yeah, that’s where I’m at a year later! Just figured I’d do a quick update for everyone who followed my journey! I keep saying I’m going to start blogging on a different platform so who knows maybe one of these days I’ll actually do it! I can confidently say that this chapter of my life is officially closing. I’ll always remember the things I experienced and all the things the Lord taught me. Can’t wait to see what’s next!
-Leah
