During high school, one of my biggest passions was leading worship for my church. On Sunday mornings, for Wednesday night high school and college programs, for summer camps or on winter retreats, I loved every second of singing in front of people, hearing everyone’s voices rise together to praise the Lord.
But once I got to college, I immediately had the sinking feeling that everyone was better than me. Everyone was older and wiser and more experienced, and anyone could lead worship better than I could, so I stopped. All three years of college, I stopped singing, and any musical talent I had was suppressed by my ideas that I wasn’t any good.
So when Jesus nudged me during Training Camp and told me to bring a guitar on the race, I was skeptical to say the least. My voice was rusty after a few years without practice. My guitar knowledge was virtually nonexistent. And yet there was a little part of me that lit up at the chance to possibly lead worship once again.
Well, in August God provided a guitar for me via a friend of a friend (for free), because I learned that if God wants you to have something, he’ll make it happen. I named it Abednego (yes, like Shadrach and Meshach), and over the past month and a half I’ve been learning to play.
When I started the race I figured I’d learn more chords and songs, and maybe start leading worship in a few months. Not so, dear friends. Because sometimes your host sees you have a guitar, and then they want you to play said guitar for worship that night (and the next day, and the day after that…), and you end up having to learn to play way faster than you thought you would.
I can’t play a ton of songs, and sometimes (read: a lot) I mess up and have to pretend I wanted people to be singing a capella while I figure out what’s going on. But those moments have humbled me, as God reminds me that worship is not about how good I am at guitar, but about how worthy God is to be praised.
After Jesus told me to bring a guitar on the race, it took a while for me to realize that the spark I felt inside me was placed there by Him. That I have a passion for leading worship for a reason, and God is reminding me that the ultimate reason of my talents is to bring glory to Him.
Throughout this trip, the Lord is teaching me how to worship Him wholeheartedly once again. It’s not about how many instruments you have or how loud your speakers are, and it’s not about how many years of experience your worship leaders have. Worship is honoring the Lord and giving Him glory in any way you can — and in India, it’s me and Abednego, jammin’ out.
