Years and years ago, I was a sophomore in high school. I was auditioning again for West Virginia All State Band. Even more pressure, I was applying, interviewing and auditioning for Governor’s School for the Arts.
I went, I saw…I conquered. One of maybe twenty-some sophomore musicians to get in. And All State, I got in the top 25 clarinetists in the state.
It was great! I worked hard, I had this incredible talent from the Lord.
Went to All State, it was fine. But it was time to go to GSA, and for three weeks. I didn’t want to go.
I was terrified! What should I pack? What if I’m not good enough? What if no one likes me? What if I’m not as good- in every sense of the word- as the others?
Seven-ish years later, and I’m going through the exact same thing. Minus a specific talent and plus generous donors.
There are so many people in my life who have taken huge steps of faith for me and this mission. It’s humbling- and not in the sense that this just sounds like the right word to use here- it’s humbling that people have faith in the Lord to use me. I’m amazed that people don’t need to hear a 5 step plan for how I’ll be effective on my team, what my strengths are and how I’ll use them to bring people to the Lord.
The Lord convinces people to give and do, and I just tell them about it.
The Lord has moved and people have been generous and faithful to Him. And I want to ask for your generosity and your faithfulness again.
I do not have much faith in myself. I’m preparing for training camp and I know I’m not where I should be. I don’t know if I have the right gear, I don’t know what to pack, I don’t know enough Spanish and I don’t feel spiritually empowered. I’m scared and nervous and unsure. Cut to me feeling inadequate… this sounds familiar.
Anyway, I want to ask if you’d have faith for me? I need your prayers, a lot of prayers. Join me in asking the Lord to change my emotions, attitude and my perspective. I know for all of the awesome things that can happen at training camp, I need to be positive and willing to move. Please agree with me in all this. The Lord has amazingly provided funds for this training camp through all of you. And I’m still asking for more… Be as generous in your prayers for me as you have been in donating to me.
Thank you all for your support and your faith! It means everything to me!
And one more thing… while I’m training for my ministry (Oct. 8-18), I’d like to ask that you consider and seriously pray about supporting my World Race on a monthly basis. I’ve been so blessed to get to training camp on mostly one-time donations (I don’t even know if that ever happens!), but I’ll continue raising support while I’m on the Race. And that will be much easier if we can come alongside each other in commitment and ministry. Don’t necessarily make a decision in this time, just talk to Jesus about it.
(So what happened at GSA? It was great! My family encouraged me and my friends were excited for me (when I was anything but that). I played well, made friends and saw the Lord fix a clarinet! I learned I have the hips of a ballerina and the feet of a monster. I went to New York for the first time and saw Les Miserables. It wasn’t all daisies and roses (playing by ear? absolutely not) but it was a great time and a great achievement. And throughout my years in All State? I learned I am not a career musician.)
