Less than 100 days until lift off.
2 weeks until Training Camp.
3 days until our first financial deadline.
32 days until the biggest garage sale in history.
$7,945.40 support raised.
$7,554.60 still needed in order to be fully funded.
1,230 (ish) bracelets sold.
3 upcoming speaking opportunities.
$250 needed to expedite a new passport because mine is too full
6 shots in the arm.
300+ malaria pills.
There's a battle taking place in my heart right now. Lately I've been so stressed. At night its almost impossible for me to turn my brain off and fall asleep. And during the day I feel guilty if I'm not doing something…like I'm wasting precious time or forgetting to do something important. This time in life just feels very strange. And to be honest, it was all starting to frustrate me.
I told a friend a few days ago that I feel like I'm not doing any of this right. The more time I spend preparing and focusing on the trip, the more I feel I'm neglecting here at home in my life right now. But if I spend time or money or energy with my friends and family I'm usually only half there because I'm distracted by the mega to-do list in my head (see above numbers!). I'm constantly readjusting my priorities and questioning myself. At the end of the day I've felt exhausted and unsatisfied. I'm pretty sure it's the perfectionist in me.
Last night I sat down in my room on my grandma's old chair with my pen and my journal and I just started writing. What I ended up with was really just a longer version of everything I just told you. And it made me sad to read what I had wrote. It made me sad because I realized that I've been so busy doing and planning and thinking about all that I should be doing or planning, that I'm missing it. Not all the time…not every day…but alot of times lately, I've missed out.
I'm living in what is no doubt the best time of my life so far. I am fresh out of an incredibly hard season in my life and I'm loving the joy and growth and strength that I'm experiencing now because of that. Its been amazing. And now I've been given the opportunity to experience something that so few people ever get to do. I am blessed beyond words. And I think thats exactly what I've forgotten over the last few weeks.
Every day there are moments where beautiful things happen all around me. There's more to my life than marking things off my checklist. I'm never going to find a perfect solution for how to spend my time and money and my focus for these next 3 months. And at the end of the day there will probably always be more to do tomorrow.
But I think what God was trying to tell me last night is just that He wants me to be present in every moment. God has blessed me with a wonderful life here in Texas right now and He wants me to live it! There's a reason I don't leave for 100 more days. He's not finished with me here. He's blessed me with a job that I absolutely love, He's restoring old friendships, He's brought me and my brothers so much closer, He provided a car that I'm pretty sure is gonna survive till I leave (yay!), I'm learning new hobbies, reading good books, and spending lots of time outside. You see, I know that next year is going to be life changing. I know that I am going to see things, and experience things, and do things that will be nothing short of amazing. But I don't want to wait till I'm in the villages of Africa or the slums in Nepal to be a part of amazing things.
Because God is doing beautiful and amazing things all around me right now,
and I'm not going to miss them.
Here's a few of those beautiful moments from last week:
Catching up with my sweet friend Julie and watching her be an incredible mom to this big boy. I admire her so much and am thankful for all the moments I get to watch and learn from her. 
My Job: I play games and love on kids all afternoon. And I get to wear shorts and a t-shirt.
It's perfect and I love it!
Need I say more? It was beautiful!
Learning how to sew! By far my favorite moment of the week!
I made a bench for my room and then sewed together a fabric cover for the cushions.
I am SO proud of it! It kinda makes me excited to be a wife/mom one day. (yikes!)
And lastly- funniest moment of the week. Actually it happened today. I came downstairs and Sal apparently wanted to take a nap so she gathered up all her toys to guard them while she slept. I guess she didn't want anyone else having fun while she was sleeping! SO funny. She's my favorite 🙂
"Now to Him who is able to do far more than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to Him be the glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations,
forever and ever, amen." Ephesians 3:20-21
