Lately I've had the hardest time falling asleep at night because my mind is constantly reviewing my lists! If you walked in my room at my house you'd probably laugh at all the sticky notes I have everywhere. I can't help it. I love being organized. Well, it gets even worse in my head! Sometimes when all the mumble jumble gets too crazy up there I just write it all down. Lucky you…i typed it down this time.
Welcome to my brain. And goodnight! 🙂
things I’m freakin excited about:
-49 days till launch
-reuniting with c squad
-my new yellow daypack.
i’m trying to name her…any ideas are welcomed.
-passion at the dome
-i’m almost done with my job
…and the new testament
-$3,000 away from being fully funded
-my first pair of jeggings
-thanksgiving and christmas and time with my friends & family
the thought of _______ scares me to death:
-saying goodbye to the people I love,
knowing that i’m probably going to come back a spirit filled freak.
-living with the same 6 people all the time and being expected to live vulnerably
-intense spiritual warfare
-preaching
songs on repeat over the past month:
i knew what i was getting into- misty edwards
every season- nicole nordeman
coming home- diddy
fly- jonathon david helser
come away/let me in- jesus culture
freedom reigns- jesus culture
super bass-nicki minaj
set a fire- will reagan & the united pursuit
realities about living overseas soon that freak me out:
-getting sick and not having my best friend there
to rub my back and bring me chocolate and let me be pathetic…she’s the best.
-transportation. i’m legit the worst passenger ever.
i get a little anxious usually over nothing
sorry team.
-the food…oh my poor weak stomach.
-never having a place to really call my home
-not having hot coffee readily available each morning to kick me into action
-learning to use a squatty potty without peeing all over myself.
china was relatively unsuccessful for me…
truths I’m constantly repeating over myself:
-i am living out God’s calling for me
-i am the daughter of a King
-i am loved unconditionally by my perfect Father
-the power of God is living in me
-he is making me new. i am FREE
-God is smiling at me. i love that one.
ways God has blown my mind during this whole preparation process:
-yesterday: a large anonymous donation
whoever you are, you blessed me tremendously and i'm SO thankful.
-thanks to 2 of the most amazing people I know,
my entire list of gear landed on my doorstep
only a few days after posting my needs online
-a group of precious adults from a bible study at stonebriar community
listened as I spoke about my trip
and have supported me after only briefly meeting me one time
-my extended family. holy cow.
in the midst of their own needs and trials
they've been so generous. thank you all.
-the heartfelt support and encouragement of my home church.
-training camp and a heart transplant
-my car (that someone gave me for FREE) is still kicking!
-for every freak out moment, there's also been a God moment.
it’s been insane.
…insanely awesome.
verses I’m obsessed with right now:
-luke 1:45: “blessed is she who has believed that what the Lord has said to her will be accomplished.”
-philippians 3:13-14: “but one thing i do: forgetting what is behind and straining towards what lies ahead, i press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
-1 corinthians 13:1-3 “if i speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, i am a noisy gong or a clanging symbol. And if i have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if i have all faith, so as to move mountains, but have not love, i am nothing. if i give away all I have and if i deliver up my body to be burned but i have not love, i gain nothing.”
thoughts that make me laugh out loud:
-my ideal packing list vs. what will actually fit in my pack
-hearing alumni racers say things like
“the world race was the best year of my life but i would never ever do it again…”
haha i mean! what the heck am i getting into??
-thinking about my teammate michelle’s snort
-picturing myself hiding from my team in my tent for alone time
-how many of my family’s shoes/underwear will my dog chew up next year while I’m gone?
-how people already think I am weird after 10 days…10 DAYS…at training camp haha
things I’m wrestling with:
-the Holy Spirit
-how to express my thankfulness to people
-forgiveness
-am i going to love this year or absolutely hate it?
PS- sometimes i have a mental dilemma. this happens when my lists overlap. for example- im SO excited for launch in 49 days. but i could also put launch on my "thoughts that scare me to death" list, or my "things that freak me out" list, or my "things im wrestling with" list.
I usually just feel alot like this:
