India for me has been a month of total desperation.
I need His touch in the morning to revive my exhausted soul
and I crave the nearness of His Spirit throughout the day.
I’ve pleaded for God to show up
and blow satan the heck out of this place.
The spiritual battle taking place here in India
is unlike anything I’ve ever experienced in my life.
Most days this is what I look like…
I’m desperate.
If you’ve been following the team this month then you know
we spend most of our time praying for people in villages.
We’ve prayed healing for literally hundreds of people.
Everything from back pains and menstrual cramps
to the man in the hospital dying of HIV
or the man that’s been paralyzed for the past 4 years.
Honestly I’ve had a lot of questions on this whole healing thing.
I’m not a skeptic-I totally believe God still does miracles
but I wanted to be sure my heart was in the right place.
I found myself saying A LOT-
Lord I believe…but help my unbelief…
Whose faith is important in this?
Mine or the person being healed?
What if I don’t say all the right words?
Or I don’t claim things ‘in Jesus’ name’ at the right times?
Do they only want me to pray for them because I’m white?
Shouldn’t we stay and get to know these people first?
What about the idols on that shelf?
Should they take them down first?
Do they know it’s the Holy Spirit doing this and not me?
And sometimes I’m too busy trying to remember that
I need to touch them with my right hand and not the left
because the left is considered dirty and unholy
that I miss everything I’m supposed to pray for!
3 weeks into this and I was starting to feel prayed out.
It’s hard to keep your faith
when the paralyzed man we prayed for still cant get out of his bed
and the demon possessed man leaves church the same way he came in.
I was desperately longing for the sweet victory of Jesus in this place.
Well…last week I met Sundaramma.
Thats her name but we just call her Ma.
It took all of about 36 seconds
for me to fall in love with this precious woman.
She has a smile just like my grandmas
and saggy wrinkles to match.
But the best part is- she’s a Christian.
She worships God…the One True God and nothing else.
My heart was SO thrilled to hear this!
That morning she grabbed my hand
intertwined her fingers with mine
and wouldn’t let go.
We learned that almost 6 months ago Ma fell and broke her hip.
She hasn’t been able to get out of bed since.
And a few days before we came
she sliced her finger open on the fan.
It was bandaged up and from what I could tell it was cut up pretty bad.
She served us some cold Thums Up to drink (of course!)
and then it was time to pray for her to be healed.
She closed her eyes and clenched tightly to my hands.
To be honest, I have no idea what words I prayed that day.
I probably forgot to say everything in Jesus name
and I KNOW I was holding her with both my right and left hand.
Oops.
I’m not even sure I completely believed in that moment
that God would heal her.
But I wanted Him to.
Oh I desperately wanted Him to…
I remember saying amen and then pausing to soak it all in.
There was something different in the room that morning.
Something bigger than us came in those moments
and the presence of God surrounded her bed.
We all felt it.
I halfway expected/wanted Ma to leap out of her bed
and run around the room praising God when we finished praying.
I mean…that’s how it works right?!
Maybe so.
But not this time.
Eventually we just hugged Ma goodbye
and promised to return again next week.
She waved to us from her bed as we left.
I left Ma’s house that day with a full yet heavy heart.
Meeting someone in India who truly loves God was encouraging
and praying for someone with that kind of faith was an honor.
But Lord where is her miracle?!
I prayed for Ma that night before I went to sleep
and again the next morning when I woke up.
I thought about her SO much this week.
When everything in me wanted to quit praying
for all these people to be healed every day
I could feel God urging me not to give up…
Tonight we went back to visit with Ma
and you wont believe what we came into…
MA WAS UP AND WALKING!
She walked right past her empty bed
and greeted us at the door with that precious smile!
I about lost it.
And her fingers?
The bandages are gone and fresh skin is growing!
I absolutely couldn’t believe it!
She’s still having some pain in her hip
and she cant get down the stairs to go to church…yet
but she can walk!
She hopes to make it to church in a few days.
The smile on her face tonight as she told us how she’s feeling
was enough to make this whole month worth it for me.
It really was.
I told Meagan tonight as we left
I’m just going to tell myself that everyone we’ve prayed for this month
is actually healed now and we just don’t get to see all the end results!
While I know that’s a little bit crazy
I cant help but think there’s some truth to it too.
Because I’m learning
God heals people in His time.
In His ways.
For our ultimate good.
And His glory alone.
Amen.
Thanks God 🙂
