Stripping Down

So you are probably wondering what I mean by the title of this blog, and to tell you the truth I’m still figuring out what it means as well. All I know is that God is stripping away every label I’ve placed on my self, every label others have placed on me, and stripping away any other identity I’m living in other than the identity as a daughter of God. 

The story starts back in Honduras when I clearly heard the Lord ask me how I would react if He took away human trafficking ministry from me. I’m ashamed to say now that at the time I threw a holy tantrum before the Lord, giving him all the reasons why that is just the opposite of who He is and what he has spoken into my life. I know it’s useless to argue with the Lord but sometimes I still choose to throw a fit and let Him really know how I feel (not that he doesn’t know already). After I cooled down,  I began to see all the identities I was identifying myself with,  these were things I never even knew could be things that could turn into idols or turn into false identity that was preventing me from getting closer to the Lord. God began to redefine for me what ministry really is and what my “calling” really is and what I was really created for.

This is what I’ve concluded: I am the daughter of God, a royal princess.

That’s it, in that one sentence defines who I am, what I’m called to do and what I was created for. I was created to be in relationship with God and walk in the identity he has given to me. That’s it. When we walk in relationship with the Lord he breaks our hearts for the things that break his and our “ministry” or as I’d like to call it life flows out of that and we don’t have to place the labels of this world on us, such as “abolitionist for the Lord”, “friend of the orphan” etc., because we are all those things and it isn’t a contradiction to minister to the orphans one day and the drug addict the next because that is the heart of God, his heart is for all people in all situations, all the time.

For those of you that know me, know that Thailand and Cambodia were huge countries for me on this race. I admit that I had expectations of ministering to the women in the bars, in the red light district and in brothels because “God had made me with a passion for human trafficking and for women in unjust situations” and so this was a chance for me to test it out, try out this ministry…however, turns out that’s not exactly what God had in mind. A week before we left for Thailand our squad leaders approached me and 2 of my squad mates Joshua and Jamie, and told us that they would like to raise us up as squad leaders. Honestly God had already been telling me that this is what he had for me, but because of the stripping down process I was still resisting it in my flesh. I believed I had a right to ministry, as I defined it, in Thailand and I thought it was unfair of the Lord to ask me to focus on the squad when all I wanted to do was to dive deep into ministry in Thailand. 

Praise God he has given me a desire for obedience because without it I would have probably declined, but I said yes and felt the Lord meet me as I took that step of obedience and He has given me his heart for this squad. I’m not going to tell you that every step of squad leading has been easy, I’ve had to resist the feelings of jealousy as I hear about my squadmate’s ministry stories, but it has been so very rewarding and the best decision for me. I feel so very fulfilled in praying for, ministering to, and focusing on the amazing people on my squad and I can only have gratitude in my heart for this season. Has my race changed? Yes most definitely, but it’s the exact thing that the Lord has for me and I’m privileged to be walking in this new role and walking in it with 2 amazing men of the Lord. 

Stay tuned to the next post where I will introduce you to my co-squad leaders Joshua and Jamie, they are pretty awesome you’re going to want to get to know them…