ALL the meat is mystery meat
You get showed up at wood chopping by a woman your Grandma’s age
You start naming the mice in the fridge, and oven, and walls…
You take out the trash. And then burn it.
You place bets on what part of the chicken you’ll get in your soup today
Your teammates start thinking maybe the cows really are talking to them…
You say “splaceba” (“thank you”) 50 times a day because it’s the only Russian you know
You save the cheese for last. Always save the cheese.
You stop feeling the desire to shower, and nobody minds
You wear socks with your sandals
Bedtime prayers include keeping the demons away
“Lost in translation” takes on a whole new meaning thanks to Fanta…
You discover that a 5 person car can actually fit 9
“Going out” means a visit to the squatty potty in the back yard
Entertainment is hanging up a fly strip and watching the buggers fly into their doom
The villagers bring extra chairs from home unto the bus
“Mary” almost gets left in the corn
You stop asking what it is and just eat it
You pour the vodka in the soup
You actually watch the cows come home
Mold cell is actually the internet
The carrots still have dirt on them when you pick them up at the market
Old women try to marry you off to their children
You warn each other not to accept any gifts of livestock
The sink explodes regularly
The microwave or the washing machine: you can only choose one
Getting the priest to laugh is a new game you play
Every sunset is worth watching
