God telling me there will be no dating for virtually two years did not stop life.
So here's what happened, and what I've learned. (Don't worry, I didn't break the no new relationships rule.)
Shortly after I was accepted to the Race-within days actually-I was asked out by a guy I had a crush on in high school and had ran into year after year. "What do I say?" I thought as I ran through my list of feelings mixing with my priorities. Then it hit me, God was asking me to choose Him. Do I want to choose sweet time growing close to the Creator of the Universe while embarking on this great adventure of a lifetime? Of course! What could possibly compare? Being human, I still had to think hard on it to arrive at this thought. Then and there I decided I'd really choose, with my whole heart. I want God the most. I want His dreams for me the most.
That was only the first test, however. I had to rein in my thoughts of when I might meet someone; what did I think of this guy or that guy? am I ready to get married? will I ever be ready to get married…and so on. Habit breaking time. Growing time. I had to surrender over and over again. And over. Still.
Then God let me experience the awkwardness of DTR's, as CRU calls it. Define The Relationship. This usually includes vocabulary like "brother" or "sister" and "boundaries." Let's just leave it at that.
A cool thing about all the lessons on boundaries is that this is something I really do need for the rest of my life. Isn't it funny how God can just use everything for more than one purpose? He's so smart. Love it.
Then we have Valentine's Day right around the corner, again. So of course, every church and CRU event is on dating and relationships. Maybe if we're lucky, a mention of singless. Oh the irony…
But I'm learning a ton! Not just about dating, marriage, boundaries and even myself (especially myself), but about relationships with everyone in my life. God's been using my roommates, my family, and every person in between to teach me about loving people. Sometimes that means you set a boundary like space. Sometimes that means laying down your pride to take care of someone's needs. I've been learning so much that I just wanted to share with you the footnotes of the recent wisdom I have gained.
We should all be more concerned with becoming the person that we would want to marry, rather than racking up a list of qualities we want in Mr. or Mrs. Right. What matters most anyway is that person's constant pursuit of Christ out of love. That's why they call the rest "negotiables." Be the person that the one you're looking for is looking for. Go ahead, read it again.
I'm not gonna go through all of Q & A's we covered at church or the 10 things to look out for in college ministries, or even the ways of DTRing we learn in CRU. I just want to hit this home: Christ. He's it. He needs to be the complete center of your life. He holds everything together. If He is the center of your life, your relationships (all of them), your job, your classes; then you don't need to worry about whether or not to Kiss Dating Goodbye or consult an expert on relationship rules. You won't ask all the questions like how far is too far? Is God calling me to date this person? Is God calling me to break up with this person? If you are pursuing Him, you will gain His wisdom. If you are listening to Him, He will lead you. If He is the center, your relationships as well as your singleness will be blessed. Becuase both are good things!
So instead of freaking out, obsessing and overcomplicating; let's get back to holding each other accountable in our walks. Challenging one another to surrender every aspect of our lives. And worrying more about our own character than someone far out into our futures. Love God. Love others. I think it really is that simple. I mean, I didn't see an ellipse where Jesus was speaking…
Don't take my word for it, or even my example. Pray! Get into THE word. And hold ME accountable for sticking to this.
Love you all! (Just not like that 😉
Sources:
Philippians 2:3-8
2 Peter 3:9
Galatians 5:15
Colassians 1:17
Ephesians 5:3
