Yesterday (India)
I held her hand as rebellious tears trickled down her face at a pace beyond her own speed. Although the walk to receive her tuberculosis shot was short, the pain doubled with each step. She wouldn't let me carry her childlike form back to the bench in her alley. I tried to love her in one day to make up for 35 years of less love than she deserved.
Children squatted in the street on either side of us, adding to the sewage in the gutter. The cows wearing black ink around their eyes seamed to be crying as well. Perhaps crying for her pain. Perhaps calling out to ask what "holy" really meant, why they had been given such a label. Or maybe that's just what I was wondering as I passed by the large furry animals with ink tears running down their faces.
This Week
I have been jumped on, tackled and piggy-backed by the children of the red light district.
They've shared their laughter and stolen my heart.
I told bible stories, laid down for naps and played rock-paper-scissors as if it might be able to save them.
Their moms left the street corner to pray with us while there children played.
Tears nearly streamed from my eyes out of sadness, helplessness, and spicy curry.
I packed as much love into each tiny gesture as possible and prayed for the rest.
Two Weeks Ago
I had a Nepali family. A big brother and sister, cousins and nephews. A home and a rooftop.
I ate far too many noodles and flat pancakes.
I welcomed the sun each afternoon as a chance to unbundle for a few hours.
I shared tea in the village, on a mountain and in the streets with strangers.
Hugs and hellos were all that was asked of me, but I gave more.
The gospel reached the unreached.
Last Month
I washed my hair three times and showered twice. It was cold.
I marveled at the cuteness of the children and wished to take them home.
I promised to come back for a baby and a puppy one day.
I made friends I won't ever say good-bye to, only see you later.
I was upstaged by a twelve year old musician and learned something new.
I rode through the Himalayas and prayed for Jesus to take the wheel-seriously.
I walked an extra mile.
This Month
Never have I experienced so many vile smells. Something is always rotting. The street is the trash can.
Slum used to mean something else, but now it means somebody's home.
I tried to give love to begging children, but they wanted money.
I am often stared at. Is it because I'm blond? White? I wish it were because I have Jesus in me.
I didn't think love could be enough, but then I realized it's the greatest thing I have to give.
I finally understand what he red light district is: it's home to men, women and children who don't have parents-true love-freedom or the truth. People in chains who need a savior. People just like us.
Right Now
I'm drinking an iced green tea lemonade in Starbucks while listening to the music on the credit roll of my favorite movie, The Guardian.
I like the songs because they bring me comfort and hope. I feel safe in Starbucks, like when it was my job to work here-my second home.
I don't know why I got to be born in America; wear clean clothes today and order a drink at Starbucks.
I don't see the point in asking why, or feeling unworthy. Rather, I say thank you-for everything (because I am unwirthy), to the God who has the answers. The God whose wisdom far surpasses mine. The God who loves me.
Tomorrow
I will spend an unknown number of hours in church, not understanding what is being spoken or sung. But I will still be able to praise my LORD.
I will ask the Holy Spirit for words that some one needs to hear as I give a testimony in the red light district.
I will miss my home and family just as much as I do today. More than words can say.
I will thank God for bringing me here, and ask Him to give me enough love to pour it back out on his people.
You
It doesn't matter where you are-
It doesn't matter what you are doing-
It doesn't matter what you believe-
You can change the world- LOVE.
Thank you for reading my blog, for supporting me financially and through prayer. Your prayers are powerful and effective. I write TO you. Would you like to continue to be a part of what God's doing in the world? You can join me as I finish the race in India, Thailand, Malaysia and Cambodia by sharing my blog, praying for my team Bithia, and suporting me monthly. If 32 people supported me at $20 a month in each 4 countries my race would be fully funded. Will you consider it? There's a link on the LEFT to click if you would like support me online.
Thank you!
