We have faced some hard things. Asked hard questions. “Why?” “God, where are You?” And one I often find myself wondering is “Why am I here?” Many situations, if not most, have seemed as if we are helpless…we can’t see anything we can tangibly do to change the problems we see. I believe God called me to this journey thus believing I am here by divine appointment but sometimes it doesn’t look like what I think it should.Â
When we were in Thailand, I made friends with girls who worked the bars. Who made a living by enduring the eyes & hands of lonely men. Who may have been in prostitution as a means of making a living. Endless circumstances land these beautiful young women in that dark and selfish place that only wants to take from them. We built friendships and then left. We didn’t get them out. We couldn’t take them with us. We left them there. So the question comes, Why? Why was I there?
When we were in Cambodia a beautiful 10 year old girl drowned. I was with a few of my teammates when it happened and we were part of the search and recovery of her lifeless body. We prayed and prayed for a miracle. I believed I was about to witness one. I layed my hands on her head and believed for healing. I prayed from the depths of my soul…and nothing happened. I was summoned by the family & friends to pray her spirit to Heaven. I stood I’m front of a village, the people looking to me for something, not know how or what to do in that moment. I knew I was supposed to be there and God wanted me there for a reason but I didn’t see why. I told God that day “I know You’re here and I know You were with her in that pond but I can’t see or hear you right now.” Yet again I ask, Why? Why was I there?
In China we worked with a special needs orphanage and we saw things that are not okay. We saw children in “living” situations that are unacceptable and no human being should experience. We saw children who were abandoned that we can’t take home. We saw illness that we couldn’t heal. We saw needs that we couldn’t fix before leaving. We were there for a brief moment and then left them there, sick and abandoned. And again, Why? Why was I there?
God is still showing me the answer to my question…to bring Light to the Darkness. I have Christ in me, therefore I am a Light. I walk into darkness and automatically bring light because of who I am. Light cannot be hidden. So regardless of what I wanted to be for those people or wanted to be able to do to change the situations I did change the atmosphere. I brought light, love, and Christ within me!Â
