Where the Truth Lies…

       Seven years ago a lie crept in and took hold, a lie that I wasn’t pretty enough, skinny enough, worthy enough. The lie that the woman God created me to be wasn’t GOOD ENOUGH.  It was the beginning of my battle with food. It was the beginning of my eating disorder. After years of believing this lie as truth I THOUGHT I had finally found freedom. My time here on the race has proven otherwise. Towards then end of my time in India I found myself beginning to watch what I ate. As girls we were told that we would probably gain weight on the race, which scared me. Once I got to Nepal my thoughts of calories and weight gain began to consume me. More than once I found myself in the bathroom facing an internal battle between the truth and lies that were bouncing around in my head. The thought of gaining any more weight terrified me. One night after an attempt to “fix” my weight, I found myself on the rooftop crying out to the Lord. In that time He reminded me of the importance of distinguishing the lies from the truth, the importance of distinguishing his voice from Satan’s.
 

 
       I had gotten so wrapped up in the lies, that it had become hard to differentiate which voice was which.  I decided that I needed to call out every lie that I had made myself believe and combat it with truth.
 
LIE: I'm fat and fat is ugly.
TRUTH: I am neither fat nor ugly. God has created me in his image and I am a beautiful daughter of God. At times I allow the world to tell me differently, but I always come back to what I know is truth. Psalm 139:14 says, "I will praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Song of Solomon 4:7 says, “You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
 
LIE: I don't measure up to what I should, and I am failing miserably at being a beautiful woman.
TRUTH: My measure is not based on how I look. God has called me to be so much more than that of this superficial world. Ephesian 2:10 says, " For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.”
 
LIE: My worth comes from my appearance. What I look like is all I have to offer. Who I am isn't worthwhile.
TRUTH: My worth doesn't come from how I look. Proverbs 31:30 says, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised." Philippians 1:6 says, "Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Jesus is working on me; he sent his son to die for me because he loves me so much. Therefore I know I have significance other than my appearance!
 
LIE: People will like me more if I am thinner/prettier.
TRUTH: Romans 8:31 says, "What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" God, the creator of everything, is for me! It does not matter what the world thinks of me. My worth is in Christ!
 
LIE: I can't get better from this. This is who I am.
TRUTH: I am not an eating disorder sufferer. I am a child of GOD. I can recover. This may always be a struggle BUT Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Isaiah 40:29 says, “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Psalm 30:2 says, “Lord my God, I called to you for help, and you healed me.”
 
When I hear any of these lies I remember John 8:44 "You (speaking to my eating disorder) belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father’s desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.”
 
I will overcome by the blood of the Lamb and the word of my testimony…
 
1) Read, pray and memorize scripture, every chance I get! Mark 14:38 says, “Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”
 
2) Take every thought captive. II Corinthians 10:5 says, “We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” If a LIE comes into my head because Satan placed it there, I renounce it with the truth and recognize it for what it is. A LIE.
 
3) Take worries and anxious thoughts to God. Philippians 4:6-7 says, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” When I struggle I give it to God. I pray about it.
 
4) Choose to live in the truth. The lies will be there. Choose not to act on them. Every meal is a choice. Choose the truth. Eating healthy is what God intended. Obsessive and extreme food plans are not. Enjoying food is what God intended. Binging excessively is not. I choose to live on the truth that I know!