When you think of being a missionary, you automatically think of running up to people and asking them a very blatant question: “Have you heard about Jesus?”
Well, that’s the first thing that comes to mind for me. When I envisioned evangelism, it looked like this big, invasive approach to telling people about the gospel. It looked forced from the outside. The more I’ve grown in my faith, the definition of missionary shifted. Quite frankly, I’m not even a fan of the term anymore. I don’t want to be labeled with this weighted word that puts this overwhelming pressure on your shoulders. When people call you a missionary, it’s as if they are putting an expectation on what you can and can’t do.
When we label people with big words, we’re setting them up for failure. That isn’t Jesus in any regard. Now don’t get me wrong, it’s okay to call yourself a missionary. But, be careful with the pressure you put on yourself. Be careful the pressure you allow the world to put on you.
I’m saying all these things because I’ve learned this month this next 10 months isn’t about being a missionary. It’s about living a life on mission.
It’s about me, a broken person, who is head over heals for this tangible man I call my Father. What do you do when you’re in love? You tell the world. I mean, imagine any romance movie. It starts out with two independent people who think there’s nothing more in this world they need to add to their lives. Then, they encounter each other. Eyes locked, hearts throbbing. These two can’t keep their hands off each other, they are telling anyone and everyone who passes. It’s the kind of love you just can’t help but share with those around you. You want people to understand this kind of love is possible, its real, and they can have it too.
That’s what it’s like living life with Jesus. It’s as if your in a rom-com but instead of pursuing a man, you’re chasing after Jesus. Yelling in the streets about this wonderous man who can heal the broken, love the unloveable, and is pursuing your heart above all else. A man who loves with endless pursuit. A man who gives you this wild, intertwined sense of adventure and comfort.
This is what it means to be a “missionary”.
I don’t want the label, all I want is to constantly live a life of pursuing His heart. I’m in love. Heart throbbing, tummy-turning, nervous jitters kind of love. And i’ve committed my life to telling others about this love.
I’m living a life on mission. I’m living a life where through conversations as simple as saying hello to even a simple gesture can show people my Father.
And let me tell you, Jesus reminded me what evangelism meant this month in Australia. He was constantly nudging me, reminding me I can take the weight of being a missionary off my shoulders and just live in communion with him.
“It so simple” He spoke to me,”don’t over complicate the one thing I have so freely given you the right to.”
Let me tell you, we can’t do anything for Jesus. Yes, he wants us to follow him endlessly and tell His people about the very essence of who He is. But, in reality the battle is already won, and he’s given us the ability to walk in victory with him. Without expectations.
So, this month I pushed harder into this life without expectation and I met the most wonderful woman.
Her name was Joylynn.
Three of us walked to the Jetty (this is what they call the pier in Australia). We had an off afternoon to venture and do ministry, to talk with people about Papa. As we continued walking down, we eventually found a spot right next to the water. He was still nudging my heart and saying “Lauren, I will give you the people to speak to.” Again, removing the expectation I had to work for ministry.
The three of us began a conversation, pouring into each others hearts. Even as we sat there talking to each other, we were living a life on mission. I took a step back and began praying big prayers. Well, one little but might prayer:
“Papa, I pray you bring someone to us. Make it so undeniable that person can’t help but want to speak with us.”
Pray big prayers and those prayers will be answered. About 20 minutes later, this woman came bounding down the pier. Although her steps were slow, you could tell her presence was radiating joy. She was beaming ear to ear with a smile, looking left to right ready to engage in conversation with those around her. All I could think was “that’s the one”. Another reminder, ministry isn’t always about the hundreds who don’t know Jesus, but the one who you invest everything into. The one matters just as much as the many.
I patiently waited for her to come closer. Then, it happened. We locked eyes, I pulled out the biggest smile my face could handle and didn’t loose sight of her. Funny how Papa works, because it was as if she was on a mission too. As if she saw me just as much as I saw her.
So the conversation began. We quickly learned Papa was pretty evident in her life. In her early eighties (even that may be pushing it because this woman was stunning), she had come to Coffs Harbour by herself. Visiting old friends in the area, she ventured down to the pier each day to see the water. One thing led to the next and we were deep into how she was saved, who she was, and why she was here.
I want to give you a glimpse into who this woman was because for me it was tangible. Sometimes we need to listen to someones else story to understand parts of ours.
So, here’s Joylnn. A woman who was raised in Catholic faith, which quite quickly after telling us this she told as didn’t really have Jesus in it. For years she followed this denomination and even though the very essence of who God is wasn’t inside of what she was following, He was still there. All those years he was continuously pushing her to reread the bible, to look deeper, to seek more.
So, she did.
She realized after reading the Bible God isn’t just a religion. He doesn’t have strict rules on who you can pray to and how you can reach heaven. He’s like getting into a car where you don’t know the destination, but you’re okay not knowing where the driver is taking you. Where you know giving the keys away is going to be a good and wild adventure.
After this wild transition in faith, she saw miracle after miracle from her Father in heaven. He was constantly saving her, either from driving home late at night from work and keeping her awake each time or through divine intervention after falling.
32 years ago she witnessed this divine intervention. Having fallen down, the discs in her back shattered. After knowing this woman for an hour, I knew this wasn’t even going to phase her before I even heard the end of her testimony.
After multiple different surgeries and doctor appointments, she went to church. She knew this one was for the ultimate healer. Three men, one being the pastor, prayed over her three different times. The first first didn’t heal it completely, yet the pain began diminishing. So, she went back to church the next week. Another man prayed over her back again. The pain still remained, but just like the last time it was diminished significantly.
This woman was persistent, let me tell you. She knew Jesus had this miraculous healing power and she wasn’t settling for anything less than full recovery. Thus, she went to church one last time and the pastor prayed healing over her back. If you can’t tell by now, she was fully healed. I think Jesus wants us to push harder. He wants us to continue praying, continue pushing even when we haven’t seen the miracle happen. I think he loves stubbornness and persistence. And man, was Joylynn persistent.
Hours had gone by and she gave us one last taste of her story. It truly was like she was like a tootsie pop, where each taste got you closer to this sweet center, and you wouldn’t settle for anything less than the center.
She was married at a young age to an Austrian who had moved to Australia. After years of marriage, they had two young boys of their own. Quickly, she became pregnant with a third and her husband revolted. He didn’t hesitate telling her she should get an abortion, her response being the stark opposite. Time went by and he began spouting lies, telling her and those around her it wasn’t his child. He wasn’t the Father nor would he ever be.
By this point you might be able to guess Joylnn’s response.
She prayed.
Praying for favor, praying fervently he would be forced to recognize this baby as his own. She reminded us God has a funny sense of humor sometimes. Even when the world feels like it’s crumbling, He’s watching out for us in the simplest of ways.
The simple answer to the end of this story: the baby looked identical to her husband. God made this child in the spitting image of her husband. He was watching out for her.
This conversation continued for quite a time, but each story she told led straight back to her resting in the Father’s arms. She didn’t have to be convinced God was working, that he was there. She knew. Just like when a child knows their mother will be there when they fall down, so she knew her Father would catch her when she stumbled.
She slowly said her goodbyes and walked away farther down the pier. For many from afar it may look as if she was alone. But for me, I saw something so much greater. I saw a woman walking hand-in-hand with Papa. He was leading her into another great adventure.
To me, after this encounter, I was reminded yet again that’s ministry. It’s trusting the Lord will bring the right people in front of you. It’s removing all expectations that you are required to do something when you step one foot out of your door.
It’s Him nudging me, telling me to let go.
The moment we let go is the same moment when he floods in.
I mean, how can we expect Him to do great things when we are trying to do those great things by ourselves? It’s in the moments of total desperation and complete reliance on him when the Holy Spirit begins doing miraculous things.
And trust me, He wants to do miraculous things.
Being a missionary isn’t this huge, heavy thing everyone has made it to be. It’s this wild, adventurous life with a great Father. It’s being head-over-heals in love with a tangible man who sacrificed everything for you. So, what else is there to do then to sacrifice everything for Him?
And truly, is it really sacrificing when you are being gifted with something much greater than earthly treasures.
I didn’t sacrifice my life back home for this. I released my clenched fists on what I thought was good for me and allowed Him to take control.
Joylynn reminded me what being a missionary really means. She reminded me it’s nothing heavy, but actually something quite simple after all.
