I wrote a blog the other day about how I’m not a preacher, but the Lord gave me the opportunity to share what He had been teaching me to the church we’ve been serving alongside of this month in Rwanda. You can read it HERE if you missed it. But the Lord taught me so much more through that one opportunity that I couldn’t possible write about it all in one blog, so I broke it up.
It took me awhile to embrace the idea of standing in front of a church and preaching. But it didn’t scare me. I don’t love public speaking, but I don’t hate it. Once I found peace in knowing that God wanted me to speak, I was okay with it.
Until I was talking to my family about me preaching and they asked me to record it. Then, I started to get a little nervous, because I’m defiantly not the preacher in the family.
My older brother, Justin, is one of the most gifted preachers I’ve ever sat under. From a young age, the Lord has been using him to declare His glory, lead his peers, and point people closer to Jesus. My brother started preaching in high school and he hasn’t slowed down since. In college he was both a full-time student and a full-time youth pastor and once he graduated from college, he continued preaching and leading the high school youth group in the church we grew up in our whole lives.
Being his sister is one of the biggest blessings in my life. Getting a front row view at the faithfulness in Justin’s life has been one of the greatest gifts and something that I do not take lightly. It’s just so obvious the Lord has His hand on Justin and his ministry and it’s been really neat to see the ways the Lord had blessed him, provided for him, and used him. I love it.
Yet, hasn’t always been easy being the younger sibling to someone like Justin. I remember in middle school I had a teacher pull me aside and let me know she was praying for me, because she “couldn’t imagine how hard it must be to come up in the school, after a brother who was held in such high esteem by all the teachers.” Our family joked about it a lot, but it kind of sums it up pretty well. He’s a pretty incredible person.
I ran into someone a few weeks ago in Nepal, who I went to high school with (crazy, I know!) and they said, “you’re Justin Kenley’s sister right?” I joked that I’m half way around the world, I’m still being called “Justin Kenley’s sister!”
All this to say, when I started planning a sermon to preach this month, it felt super weird. I sat down with my computer and Bible and started praying. As I shared in the last blog, I knew what I was supposed to talk about, the Lord had made that so clear. Yet, I couldn’t get the thought out of my head that I shouldn’t be planning a sermon to preach. I told myself things like “this is obviously not my lane. God defiantly asked the wrong Kenley.” Reminding myself that this is Justin’s place, not mine. Preaching is his gift. This is where God has called him…. not me. & the fact that my family wanted to listen to me preach made it even more nerve-wrecking.
What I thought was me just being “real” and “honest” with myself, was really me doing my best to talk myself out of something I knew God was calling me into to. In looking at the gifts and the calling of Justin, I was neglecting the very thing God was calling me to do in that moment.
I was centering my sermon around Psalm 126:3, sharing about the good things the Lord has done for me. The ways that He has worked in mylife. The ways He has worked through the messes I’vemade, the ways He has revealed Himself to me,and the love He has shown mealong the way. The sermon was centered around the goodness of God in my life and calling others to reflect on the goodness of God in their life. It was a sermon that only I could give because it was about God’s goodness in my life.
The Lord has certainly done amazing things in my brother’s life. The Lord has used and is using him in some amazing ways and for that I’m both incredibly grateful and proud. But, that doesn’t mean He isn’t doing the same thing in and through me. In looking at ways God is using Justin and where He has called him, I missed the goodness of what the Lord is doing in my heart and my life now.
I think one of the biggest lies the enemy tries to tell us is that someone else could do it better. Someone else is a better fit for the job. Someone else if more qualified. Yet, when we look in scripture we see the Lord using the exact opposite of qualified and better fit. The Lord reminded me of David when he killed Goliath. David was a shepherd boy. He didn’t have armor. He wasn’t a warrior. He was simply there to talk to his brothers. But God was calling him into more. God used a small stone, a slingshot, and a small boy willing to fight for the Lord to slay a giant. It wasn’t that David was prepared. It wasn’t that He was the “best option”, it was that He was willing to do what God wanted him too. David trusted the Lord, more than he trusted in himself.
By entertaining the lies of the enemy that “this isn’t my lane”, that Justin would have been a better fit, or that I’m not a preacher. I failed to trust the heart of the Father. I questioned who He was and why He had chosen me. Thankfully, I was able to see past the lies of the enemy and the deception within myself and I preached. I stood on stage and spoke the truth that the Father had been speaking to me. & afterwards I was able to see the fruit of that. From both teammates and church members who shared with me how the words I said encouraged them, spoke to them and called them into further action.
I’m not a preacher. I’m not the preacher in our family. But I am praying that more and more I’ll become like David, an open, unqualified vessel willing and ready to let the Lord use me how He sees fit. Regardless of its slaying giants or simply just speaking in church, I want to walk confidently into the places the Father has called me trusting that He’s good and He knows what He’s doing.
& just for fun, here is Justin and I!
