It wasn’t until I found myself standing in front of 30 village kids and their parents, that I realized what was expected of us. We had little to no information on what we needed to have ready for our first day of ministry in Zomba, Malawi. All we knew was that we are with a group called the Harvesters, and we’d be church planting. Little did we know, that meant that we’d be preaching sermons all over the area.. As I stood there, wondering why I had volunteered to preach a sermon that I did not have, God spoke through me. I was in a vulnerable place; I mean I literally had zero words. Nothing was formed in my brain except that I think I should talk about Jesus? I don’t remember what I ended up saying, but it sparked something inside me. Something I didn’t know was there. Something I didn’t know that I could do.
Preaching the word is our biggest role here in Malawi. Consequently, we end up in situations where we have no sermon or have nothing to say, but are still expected to speak. It’s a little terrifying when you step up in front of crowds ranging from 5 to 50 people, and your brain can’t even remember your name or where you come from. Although, every time this happens, God takes His opportunity and speaks for us (Eventually you remember “Lauren from Oregon” but sometimes it takes a minute). It’s only by His divine help that we’ve ever had anything to say in front of a crowd! Even when you attempt to write something, He always throws you a curve ball.
One time, I had an entire sermon planned out; everything I was going to say, every point that I wanted to make was ready and prepared. Mid way through the program, God said “Nope, you’re going to talk about ‘joy’ instead”. Suddenly, I couldn’t remember anything I had written down before, and could only think of Philippians 4v4: “Rejoice in the lord always! Again I say rejoice!”. Arguing with the creator of the universe is not an easy task, so I rolled with it. I spoke about Paul in Philippians and somehow a sermon was born out of that. The passion I felt touched my own heart; I was even encouraged!
I think this is the way God likes us best – completely vulnerable and unsuspecting of what He is about to do. If we’re always guessing his next moves or his next words, we’re actively placing him in our little box of perspective. God cannot be crunched down into our cramped, human minds. He’s so much bigger than our own brains! He’s infinitely larger than anything that we can comprehend. He’s outside our understanding of space and time. So why do I try and pretend that I have any control over this kingdom spread? Why would I ever think that MY words were going to be more important than His? Of course what He has to say will come out on top – He knows the needs of every single person in the crowd, while I could only think of how uncomfortable I was in front of them.
This ministry in Malawi is teaching me what it looks like to put my ego aside, and watching our limitless God do His work through me. It’s not about who or where I am.. It’s about bringing kingdom. They don’t need to here what you want to say, they need to hear what God needs to say. All He ever asks for is a space to speak, and your willing voice.
