I have put this blog off for quite awhile, and I wasn’t sure how to do this exactly.
So… here it goes!
A little over a month ago, my squad mentor asked me to stay on the field for the remainder of the year, and squad lead for her.
After bringing the decision to the Father, and a little bit (lotta bit) of verbal processing, I said yes.
I have been debating for a couple weeks on how to make this announcement;
I wrote two blogs: one about my emotional process, and the other, a short and sweet announcement, simply to get the news out. I thought about not saying anything at all, and just continuing to post and act normal. I debated making a cute video to post on facebook. Finally, I pondered simply posting a status saying, “I’m not coming home” and leaving it at that.
You see, I wasn’t sure how to approach an announcement that simultaneously feels like a huge step and an easy decision. Yes, I had to walk through a process with the Father. I had to filter out the lies to hear His voice. I had to sit with my people, and talk it out, tell them my doubts. I had to call my parents and cry a little, and come to terms with missing the holidays again. I had to look at my pack and laugh because I definitely did not pack for 9 months on the field! However, at the same time, it was apparent to me that this was the plan from the beginning. While I was surprised when the invitation came up, I wasn’t thrown off. Deep inside, I knew the Father was preparing me to stay since day one. Everyone I told, my mom, dad, best friends, and brother, all said, “Yep, we already knew you were going to stay”.
So the decision was a simple one, as well as a heavy one. I feel the weight of responsibility and the reality of new challenges, but I am confident in my placement in His kingdom, which has led me here.
All that to say, I committed to 6 extra months of being with Gap R – this wonderful group of people that leave notes for me at my door, go with me to buy roti, and allow me into the depth of their lives and stories. This squad is a gift, and an invitation to join the messiness of growth and being human.
Practically, this means I won’t be home until June 2019. My apologies if we had plans in December… I’m going to have to reschedule to next year… This also means, that I have to fundraise about $600 extra to keep myself on the field for 6 more months. If you’d like to support me, hit the donate button and follow the directions! If you have any questions about what this all means (like what the heck is a squad leader), I would love to message you and chat! Thanks for reading!
