I’ve written a couple blogs about a few of my crazy (but mostly embarrassing) bathroom emergencies I’ve had on the World Race. Fortunately for me, I don’t have any embarrassing stories to share this time! This blog will be about the part of the World Race that doesn’t get posted on social media and is usually a part that is not the prettiest.
The World Race is full of ups and downs. Constant change of literally everything. Different time zones, different food, different beds, different schedules, different people, different countries, different elevations, different weather, and different languages every single month. One day you could be climbing a volcano and teaching English to orphans and the next day you could be peeing in a plastic bag on a dirty bus and sharing a bunk bed with a snoring stranger. Everyday on the Race is different and you never know what to expect. But one thing that is expected is that you will get basically no personal space 95% of the time. Unless you’re in the bathroom.
I’m an ENFP on the Meyers Briggs personality test and I’m more extroverted than introverted. But only being able to be alone when I’m in the bathroom, I think I go a tad bit crazy sometimes! If I’m being 100% honest, the World Race is probably one of the top two best decisions I’ve ever made in my life. I do not regret going one bit. I am so thankful for this opportunity and I love being here in Rwanda (month 10). But I’m actually really homesick! The Race has been challenging in many ways not only physically, but mostly emotionally. I feel like I’ve condensed five years of experience and growth into eleven months! Although I am growing, changing, and having the time of my life. Every now and then, I find myself in a bathroom, sitting on the lid of the toilet, watching my tears hit the floor (maybe I sound like a drama queen, but it’s the truth). Sometimes it just gets to me! The World Race is hard sometimes. The constant change of environments, living out of a backpack, being homesick, and being uncomfortable all the time.
I found out that I’m really bad at sharing my real thoughts, feelings, and struggles with others. I try my best to put a smile on my face and act like nothing is wrong even when I’m having a hard time. But something I’ve learned on the Race is that it’s okay to not be okay all the time. Its okay to be vulnerable and transparent with people you trust. Vulnerability is opening up about your past and the struggles you’ve been through. Transparency is opening up and allowing people to walk through your mess and your struggle with you. Being transparent is something I’m working on right now because it’s really hard and uncomfortable for me to do. Letting people see me cry and letting them see the brokenness in me makes me want to run to the nearest hole and hide in it!
Even though I’m still working on being transparent, I’m not alone in the process. Even when I’ve locked myself in a bathroom, I’m still not alone. God is with me wherever I go and He is someone I know I can actually be transparent with. He hears every word and sees every tear of mine. Something I not only know now, but I believe, is that God’s GREATEST desire is to spend time with me (and you). Are you kidding me? That’s all He wants from me is…. ME? Even when I’m crying in a bathroom or at a time when I’m at my absolute worst? He wants to be with me and go through those struggles WITH me? Yes, he does! He wants to be a part of every part of our lives good and bad. Once I started truly believing this, I started inviting God into every situation in my life no matter how big, small, good or bad. Because I now believe that He has an abundance of love and freedom ready and waiting to give to us. We only need to invite Him in so He can love every part of us.
God speaks through people. So speak up when you’re hurting, reach out to others. No one can meet a need they are unaware of, but someone may be able to help if you just ask. I want to encourage you today as you are reading this, if you are facing something in your life you fear is too much for you to handle, reach out to someone you trust. Be transparent. Invite God into your situation. And walk in the freedom that is already given to you.
As for me, you can find me in Rwanda for now. But you will no longer find me in the bathroom. 🙂
